Friday, 25 November 2011

A MOST REMARKABLE EXCHANGE OF WORDS WITNESSED BY ALL AT THE SLAUGHTER HOUSE BC's NOVEMBER AGM ......... ( between the chairman Bigot-Johnson and a rather disgruntled member )
DM : Chairman.....why does this committee hold meetings behind closed doors, and in such secret ? Members, like me, want to see openness and transparency
B-J : Are you stark raving committee meeetings are a recipe for disaster and widespread discontent. Such meetings don't achieve anything. In fact they do more harm than good
DM : Surely, we members have a right to know about what's going on....and how decisions are reached and carried out
B-J: The Minutes are always published , informing members about what they need to know
DM : But who is best placed to know what members need to know ?
B-J : We are of elected members
DM : So how come the minutes are scant, sanitised, extremely brief reports of what went on ?
B-J : Members only need to know about the things that add up to very little , and nothing of issues which would be of great concern and worry to them
DM : I'm gobsmacked....
B-J : Listen...there is a law that governs the way the civil service is run. It is the Law of Inverse Relevance. This means in simple terms that the more we ( as a committee ) intend to do something drastic with huge implications and risks, then the less said about it the better.
DM : But what's wrong with being open and transparent ?
B-J : Are you thick or what ?.....You just don't get it. An open committee meeting is a contradiction. If it is open then a proper meeting will not take place. A committee can not function properly unless it is allowed to do so in secret. Fears of false reporting, ugly rumours, and defamation actions would severely inhibit individual committee members from speaking up.......
DM : I don't buy that argument at all....
B-J : Well, let's get back to your misguided view that members have a right to know......what a load of bollocks....most members cherish far more the right to remain ignorant.......because let's face it the truth hurts.....knowledge can be a dangerous thing...... it causes panic...... too much knowledge can create confusion and complexity. Having knowledge and not using it wisely only racks us with guilt. Moreover ignorance is bliss, and in my opinion it also has a certain dignity.
DM : But...
B-J : Dont " but " me sir.... giving away knowledge to your type is like giving whiskey to an alcoholic
DM : Well, it seems to me that you lot are obviously up to no good....that you've something to hide....and that there are major problems boiling up you're desperate to keep the lid on
B-J : What a muppet head you are....most of the people on this committee haven't a bloody clue about what is really going on's only Ronnie, Reggie and I that know what's what. Therefore if they don't know what they are doing, then they can never know when they're doing wrong. Now this means they can all leave a committee meeting under the false belief that what they were doing was right.......and everyone is happy. So clearly, if ignorance is good for them, then it must be good for you.
DM : I'm flabbergasted......
B-J : Yes..... and I'm all through with you....... " Hey Ronnie ".....please escort this ex-member off the premises.....this AGM doesn't need smart arses like him sabotaging the show.......and so let's move on to the next item on the agenda ...... a long overdue motion to put committee officers on the club's executive payroll.....

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