BENIGN BRIDGE CLUB DRESS CODE AS LAID DOWN IN ITS ZERO TOLERANCE POLICY ( RULES 13 AND 14 )
The prime objective of this committee is to establish high standards along side an elegant ambiance within this club . Therefore , all members must adhere to a strict dress code on entering the premises. If suitably attired , then our outside no-nonsense , psychopathic , ex-military security staff will issue compliant members with a pass , which permits access to the club facilities.
Members may come in fashionable casual attire in order to enjoy the bridge experience , mixing and socialising with others in a desirable setting of affluence and refinement. Members will benefit from intermingling with those possessing a similar taste for style and panache , and that all important sense of occasion.
Under no circumstances whatsoever will the committee tolerate or allow the wearing of tank tops , T-shirts , cut-off jeans , shorts , exposed tattoos , sweat pants , joggers , flip-flops , sandals, work clothes , charity shop cast-offs , or anything else which is cheap , nasty , badly creased or in bad taste. Moreover , members must ensure that their outfits must be fresh and clean, and that goes for their bodies too. Therefore, it is paramount importance to arrive at the club having recently applied deodorants , perform, aftershave , toothpaste , mouthwash , soap and shampoo conditioners to relevant parts of their body, Anyone perceived to offend the eye or the nose of any surveillance officer as " lowering the tone of the premises " will be barred straightaway , and subsequently suspended for a month.
For members who have a real feel for that sense of occasion , the committee will expect the ladies to turn up in diamond studded evening dresses , and the men in tuxedos , plain white shirts , turn-up trousers and bow ties.
( Footnote : the committee's aim is to return bridge back to the halcyon days of the 1930's , where one felt privileged and honoured to be part of a grand event , which was both special and highly memorable )