DEVIL'S DICTIONARY..................................................................

• Experience : a marvellous thing that enables you to recognise the same mistakes you made the last time
• Red Against Red : the term was first coined after an incident during a Crockford's final, when two very hot-headed Russians came up against each other in a highly explosive encounter
• Opponent : someone you set out to (i) stick the boot in, (ii) whack, and (iii) axe, at every opportunity in this very sociable and friendly game
• Relay : a clever system whereby drinks purchased at the bar are passed from person to another until they reach the seated recipients. A practice is usually seen in clubs where trays are in short supply.
• White : the colour of your face after dropping a major clanger. This paling phenomenon was first noticed, when a club expert discovered the vulnerability his way was also red. However, this was after going 3 down in a doubled contract, meant as a save against the opponents' 3NT.
• WAG : an acronym for Wild Approach Guessing. This frowned upon practice is only used by bridge players who are dealt wildly distributional hands with few HCPs. Having no bloody clue as to how to bid them, they just make one random punt to end the auction.