Thursday 8 October 2009

WORLD BRIDGE FEDERATION v. DR. JOHN ( LAW REPORT OCTOBER 2009 )

In his remarkable case, a libel action was made against Dr. John. It was brought before the High Court in London by the WBF, who were representating all the bridge players from around the world. Allegations were submitted that Dr. John's case notes ( published in Howard Bigot-Johnson's BizarreBridgeWorld blog ) all contained false statements of fact. These untruths related to the numerous psychological disorders pertaining to bridge players . The WBF further contended that Dr. John had now made bridge players the subject of ridicule, which in turn had caused them to be shunned by ordinary members of society, with their reputations " as normal folk " now in tatters. Here then is the finale to the proceedings, as obtained from the court's transcripts. Dr. John had elected to defend himself:

  • Plaintiff''s Counsel ( PC) : - Am I right in saying that you having listed at least 30 types of disorders, that you claim bridge players have fallen victim to ?
  • D-J : -Yes
  • PC : - Would you care to name a few of them for the benefit of the jury.....
  • D-J : - If I must.....well....... there's the Mountebank Syndrome, Infla Tedego, Snow White Syndrome, Capgras Delusion, Uria Hepititus, the Dopeler Effect, Irritable Howell Syndrome, Namedro Pinitus, Tantrumus Histrionica, Fregoli's Delusion, Apollo 9 Syndrome, Muta Ignoramia..
  • Judge : - I think the court has heard enough.....but how is it possible for one group of people in society to be cursed with so many psychological afflictions ?
  • D-J : - That's just the tip of an iceberg, your honour.......there are hundreds more I've yet to report on.
  • Judge : - Good grief.....
  • PC : - May I be permitted to continue, your honour ?
  • Judge : - Please do
  • PC : - Dr. John, are you a qualified psycho-analyst?
  • D-J : - No.....but I am an astute observer of bridge players' behaviour, a gifted academic, and an avid reader of anything and everything to do with abnormal psychology.
  • PC : - In my book, that adds up to nothing. Indeed, it is my contention that your so-called case notes are nothing more than psychological mumbo-jumbo.......the madcap drivel of a charlatan........but drivel that has nevertheless caused embarrassment and pain to all those brdge players, who have unfortunate stumbled and strayed onto your blog site.
  • D-J : - My case notes speak the truth, and it is not my fault that the truth sometimes hurts. Anyway, because bridge players are always in denial, they are generally immune to pain and embarrassment. Infact, denial is a natural human instinct, a defense mechanism to cover up our failings, shortcomings and weaknesses in order to preserve our precious egos .
  • PC : - You're talking mumbo-jumbo again....
  • D-J : - You would like to believe this, but let's take you for example...and consider your failings. You have come across to this court as a pompous, self-righteous, arrogant, upper-class, up-your-own arse lawyer...
  • PC : - I'm not.....
  • Judge : - Ah....but he does have a point though.
  • D-J : - You clearly suffer from an outrageous superioty complex, revelling in the role of predator, relying on your sharp and pointed words to belittle and savage your quarry.
  • PC : - I do not !.......
  • Judge : - You certainly do...
  • D-J : - And I've heard gossip from various sources that you are rubbish in bed...
  • PC : - I am not....how dare you say that.....that's an outright lie !
  • Judge : - Sorry to correct you there counsel, but the last time I bedded your wife she said the very same thing
  • D-J : - So when you....are faced.... with a few horrible truths about yourself, your natural instinct is to deny them and accuse me of lying.
  • PC : - Not so...
  • D-J : - Well, you just have.......4 times to be exact.
  • Judge : - I concur with that count.
  • D-J : - Well, take it from me that bridge players are the world's best when it comes to denial. Plagued with so many serious psychological disorders, I fear that should they win this case, the result will only re-inforce and consolidate their collective and individual denial even more. If any one of them is ever going to face up the fact that he/she has a disorder that needs treating, it is of paramount importance that the WBF loses this case.
  • Judge : - I agree, and I now direct the jury.......that there is nothing whatsoever to justify this action for libel. Truth has ...and always will be ......a valid defence against any alleged defamatory statements. The trial ends here...

( Footnote: Undeterred and undaunted by the High Court decision, the WBF lodged an appeal. As it happens, the appeal hearing took place the following week in the Court of Appeal, but it was Pun of all people who volunteered to write the report. )

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