Tuesday 15 March 2011

ACADEMY STUDENTS WITNESS BIGOT AT HIS BEST......
( Bigot's academy high fliers were just one week away from their first exam on Advanced Bidding and Declarer Play . Any failing students would be kicked off the course, but the prize for passing was an outing or two as partner to the great man himself. )
" Well class, I expect great things from you, but I will not tolerate any excuses, especially limp ones, for arriving late to next week's exam...........except perhaps for two. These are either ( i) you posssess a medical certificate to prove you are too ill even to get out of bed, or (ii) there is a sudden and tragic death in your family concerning a close relative.
However, lurking at the back of the room was a smart alec character, who also happened to be the nephew of Percy Pantopod. He thought it would be a great idea to put Bigot on the spot. So up went his arm.
" What is it this time... you clever dick ! "
" Could I be excused for coming late if I fell victim to sexual exhaustion ? "
Not surprisingly the class burst into spontaneous laughter , which was brought to an abrupt stop when Bigot pulled out a pistol, and fired a waning shot into the ceiling. Then of course he turned his attention to the young man on the back row.
" In response to you question......the answer is NO.....which means you'll have to put in hours and hours of hard graft learning how to write with your other hand ! "

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