Tuesday, 15 March 2011

CARP'S CORNER.................
It never ceases to amaze me how bridge players continue to insult their partners, when the reality of the situation is that partnership harmony, and ultimately success, can only be achieved through positive encouragement and support.
Indeed, Professor Hu Chi Ku Chi's wonderful article showed why insults continue to play such a huge role in the endless banter than goes on certainly inside English bridge clubs. Players seemingly uncomfortable at having to be sociable , but using humour as an antidote to cure their obvious dis-ease. Sadly for those on the receiving end, much of this humour involves explosive outbursts of savage wit, cutting remarks and loaded insults.
Why just this other week I overheard and noted the following wise-cracks, with reveal both the creative and sadistic characteristics of a bridge player's mind :
- Partner, you're like a deck with no picture cards in it
- The only joy I get is when you leave the table
- Partner, you are living proof of evolution in reverse
- You're as bright as Alaskan day In December
- Why you're so dim you couldn't poor water out of a shoe with instructions on the heel
- The last thing, partner, I want to do is insult you : I've just moved that desire to the top of my list
- When most of us drank from the fountain of knowledge, how come partner you chose to gargle ?
- Even single cell organisms could outplay you at bridge
- Partner, not only do you set low standards in the bidding and play of the cards, but you then constantly fall below them
- I'm finding it very hard at this moment to imagine you with a brain
- How come partner, your mind's picturing of the hands goes completely blank, yet the sound of your inane comments never switches off ?
- You're all foam and no beer
- If taking on opponents is like a battle of the minds, then what hope have I got partner when you come completely unarmed ?

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