Monday 27 June 2011

AS AN AGEING BRIDGE PLAYER YOU KNOW YOU'RE OVER THE HILL WHEN ..........
- you look both ways before crossing the room
- you get winded even in the sitting seat
- picking up a card off the carpet, you ask yourself " while I am down here is there anything else I should be doing ? "
- your mind puts you into contracts you've no chance of making
- a partnerless player prefers to take his chances with an available novice
- players you once slagged off for slow play now seem to play irritatingly fast
- your past table transgressions remain safe with your friends, because they can't remember them either
- young newcomers to the club simply refer to you as " old timer "
- getting excited at the table causes you to have unfortunate little accidents
- the best result of the day is a pass out hand for an average
- you confuse having a clear conscience with a short-term memory loss
- having to move between rounds, you find yourself marooned on the stairs, unsure as to whether you were going up or going down
- you have to get up from your seat in stages
- you think you know all the answers but players have long stopped asking you any questions

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