BIGOT-JOHNSON GETS PUT IN HIS PLACE....... ( A very nearly true story by Bridgemeister Gibson )

Bigot was a very worried man. His court case was only a few weeks away. A supremely confident Percy Pantopod was suing him for slander, and seeking damages in the region of £250,000.
In the bar Bigot was ranting away as usual about this case and how he needed help, when a visiting player shouted across to him.
" There's nothing to worry about mate if what you said about him was either true.....or can't be proved false "
Bigot didn't take kindly to being alerted to the basics of the law regarding defamation, especially by someone was a complete stranger to the club.
" Let me bloody well guess.....you're a smart arse lawyer from down south......"
At this point a club member jumped up from his seat amazed at Bigot's deductive powers.
" Blimey....how you know that.....my brother Paul is up here on a trip to Doncaster.....and he's a high flying London lawyer  "
Bigot immediately replied : " I knew that....... because the observations he made were 100% accurate, but completely useless.....since everything I said about Percy was pure invention comprising of wicked, vindictive and malicious lies...."
In a flash the barrister got up from his seat to stand his ground.
" Well sir.....you come across to me as an arrogant sod.......supposedly in control, but far from it. You don't know what you are doing, or what the implications of your actions are. You've pushed yourself into an unresolvable predicament from which there is no turning back. This situation is of your own making and has come about through an embarrassing lack of forethought and common sense........a situation which could have been avoided by either thinking before speaking, or having both the humility and remorse to apologise. And if you expect the law to exonerate you for having acting with crass stupidity, then you're a bigger fool than I first took you for. Moreover,  you then have the audacity and nerve to dismiss my freely given observations as useless ! "
Bigot not surprisingly was rendered completely speechless.