THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY REVISITED........

• Ideal Partner : a person who dislikes the same club members as you do
• Patience : what players only seem to have when they don't know what card they should play next
• Gross ignorance : what your dreadful partners are guilty of being 144 times worst than the prevailing level of ignorance within the club membership
• Feedback : what you get from a critical partner who ate far too many red hot chili bake beans for his dinner
• Conscience :  ( a ) what is severely lacking in the psychological make up of a cheat and (b) the inner voice which only speaks to a player when there's the likelihood of someone somewhere looking on
• Amnesia : a condition that enables a player who has endured an extremely severe bollocking to play again with the same foul-mouthed partner
• Partnership : a classic example of a paradox
• Table yawn : an honest opinion openly expressed
• Committee : an institution in which the whole is equal to the scum of its parts
• Hope : a disappointment deferred