THE DAY JESUS CAME TO PLAY...... ( another nearly true story by Bridgemeister Gibson )

At a major teams event three very old gentlemen had just taken their seats at their table, when the TD came over to give them the bad news.  Toby , the fourth member of their team , would not be turning up , having died that morning at the hotel over a plate of soggy cornflakes. However , there was a gentleman who was more than happy to sit in and take his place , if they were happy to have a stranger join them.
They all agreed and so the TD beckoned over a bearded man in robes to take the vacant seat. It was Jesus. The three old men just sat there with stunned expressions on their faces.
Quick to seize an opportunity , as all good bridge players do , the first said humbly " Jesus , I've suffered from chronic and consistent back pain all my life ,  even since a horse riding accident 30 years ago. Can you help me ? "
" Of course I can " said Jesus and the moment he leaned over to touch the old man's back , the pain immediately disappeared.
The second old man who was wearing very powerful hearing aids also turned towards Jesus : " I've never been able to hear properly since I sustained a serious head injury in a motor cycle accident 40 years ago. Is there anything you can do to help ? "
Jesus smiled, and gently removed the old man's hearing aids and lobbed the offending items out of an open window into the garden outside. Seconds later he was able to hear with out any difficulty ,  and with crystal clear clarity ,  the conversations taking place on nearly tables. A gift which many bridge players would give their right arm for.
Then , expecting a third request , Jesus turned to the man sitting opposite. In a flash defensive arms were put up in a desperate attempt to ward off another miracle : " Don't you dare touch me you meddling quack.....I'm on a disability pension ! "