This disorder, one of many in this newly emerging gay society of ours, has certainly been seen within the membership of bridge clubs across the western world. To understand the condition it is necessary to recap on the biblical story of Onan. He was, of course, a man who was obliged to marry his deceased brother's wife, but he did not love her. However, instead of putting her away and leaving her alone, he dutifully chose to have sex with her, but certainly didn't want to have children by her. So his only course of action was to pull out at the last second, and thus " spill his seed upon the ground ". In the bizarre world of bridge, players who succumb to onanisma unnaturelle quickly develop a tendency to pull out of the bidding at the last second, in a calculated attempt not to be lumbered with an unwanted or unwelcome penalty. Tragically, this tendency can develop into a full-blown cop-out syndrome, where victims feel compelled to pull out of any action which places burdensome responsibilities upon them. Their refusal to take on any leading role extends to withdrawing from club competitions, team events, captaincy and scoring duties, committee work, and attending AGMs.
Moreover at its peak, the affliction becomes so acute that victims start pulling out of social and duplicate events, preferring instead to play with themselves on net-based bridge sites. The lack of human contact suits them to a tee. Therefore, it is not surprising to hear that other psycho-analysts associate onanism with masturbation, so much so that the two words are now synonymous. Though for the life of me I've read that biblical story over and over, and I damned if I can see the connection.
( Footnote: Last year leading theologians discovered ancient scrolls which tell of another story. Onan, who had been put under unbearable pressure to impregnate his late brother's wife , said in a fit of temper " Sod me, I would much prefer to be in bed with a man." And from that day on the concept of sodomy was born. )
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