Saturday, 30 January 2010

Bridge players like the proverbial birds of a feather really do flock together......and often in large numbers. But equally true is the old adage of "opposites attract". The reason why this attraction takes place in the bizarre world of bridge is purely down to an affliction known as maso-sadistica bondunitus. This strange but common disorder affects two groups of players simultaneously, where every member in one group develops a compulsive desire to partner someone from the other group. On one side, we find players who have superior bridge skills, but posses highly critical and psychopathic personalities. On the opposite side we see players who are grossly inferior, pathetically weak, with a "punish me when I'm naughty" mentality. Inextricably drawn to each by means of open invitation and mutual consent, this disorder often goes unnoticed. This may be explained by the fact that once the partnership has been formed, both parties seem very content and happy with the arrangement, so neither one ever wants to leave.
However, what is particularly unusual about this affliction is that the skillful sadist is willing to sacrifice any chance of getting a good score, because he prefers instead the 3 hours of sheer uninterrupted delight gained from inflicting constant abuse upon his/her partner. In a few rare cases a conflict of interests can develop, whereby the sado-sufferers are thrown into a state of confusion and anxiety, simply because their status and reputation as top players is being severely undermined. However, for the maso-sufferers it's pure joy all the way. Not only do they benefit from the conspicuous association of partnering top class players, but they rejoice at the prospect of receiving poisonous jibes and personal insults after each and every board. Moreover, their results are far higher than they could ever hope to achieve if forced to play with their own group members.

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