Dear Rebecca,
I've been having a rough time of it lately. My elderly parents were arrested at Bangkok airport on a trumped up charge. They are now waiting to be indicted for drug smuggling offences, where life sentences will be the inevitable outcome if Thailand's record for manifestly rigged trials holds true. My wife has run off with one of my favourite bridge partners, having managed to conceal her affair for several years. My only son, who I recently stepped aside for so he could take control of the family business, decided as his first priority to sack me for gross incompetence. And my daughter has run off to join a fanatical religious sect, who believe that we are all descendants of visiting aliens. Mind you this might explain why some apes remained apes, whilst others which mated with the aliens became humans. But what really capped it all for me was when I lost a green pointed event on the very last board. My ass-hole of a partner dropped a crucial trump card on the table face up. The opponents were in a doomed grand slam but, on seizing their rights to have the exposed card played on the next trick, they were able to avoid a trump loser. This gave them the contract against all the odds. Is there no justice left in this world?
Yours born under a bad sign , Jeremy Jones
Dear JJ,
Wow, that letter of yours was a real tear-jerker. Losing a competition like that just because your clumsy oaf of a partner can't keep hold of his cards properly must have been devasting for you. My heart really goes out to you. As for your other so-called tales of woe.....hey, let's get a few things into perspective ! Your parents get an extended holiday stay in the country they love to visit. With your wife out of the way, it means non-stop bridge day and night......especially after your son kindly spared you from all those onerous week-in-week-out work responsibilities. And not forgetting your daughter of course, who found us the answer to the origin of man.
Yours sincerely grateful, Rebecca
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