A DEVIL OF A HAND................. ( A fantasy story as told to Bridgemeister Gibson )
South opened 1C on his 0-4-3-6 distribution. West with his 0-4-2-7 distribution now waited in both hope and anticipation that South would keep repeating clubs.......which meant for the time being he would elect to pass. North who was staring down at his 13 spades had no intention of giving the game away about this devilish distribution. So out popped a bid of 5S. West who was also staring down at his 13 spades could not believe his ears. This bid must surely be the most audacious and most outrageous psyche he had ever witnessed. Either that or North had completely lost his marbles. However.....there was just one other possibility......yes, there is as he recalled the very unusual, rarely used Dinkydonk convention. This allows North to make an immediate slam try by bidding the one suit he hasn't got, providing of course the other three are very strong indeed. Therefore, North must be agreeing clubs, asking South to bid 6C/7C dependent on whether he holds one or both top honours. East fearful of forcing North/South into bidding a saving ( and makeable ) 7NT decided on bidding a quiet 6S. Indeed, this bid could put the cat amongst the pigeons. However, everyone around the table , especially North, thought East had gone stark raving mad, and was in serious need of psychiatric help. A bemused South passed, but West was still thinking. He too had a dim and distant memory of the Dinkydonk convention. Yes, his partner cannot have a single spade in his hand, having a massive 3 suiter.............. which he's prepared to play in one of them at the 7 level ( despite South's opening 1C, which could be a prepared bid ). Best then to bid 7C and await developments. North, who had heard enough of all this nonsense bidding, decided the time had come to bid 7S. A flabbergasted but wary East passed in the certainty of collecting mega penalty points. And as soon as both South and West passed, East was scoring up his + 1300, while North was scoring up his + 1460.
And so to conclude this rather bizarre story, both North and East then claimed simultaneously " All the tricks are mine "........whereupon the argument immediately descended into an all-out brawl. With each going for the other's throat, it took all the efforts of 12 sturdy and concerned club members to keep them apart. Who the hell rigged this board no-one knows, but this devil of a hand certainly brought this night's duplicate bridge to a fiery and sensational end.