WHERE DOES BEASTLY BEHAVIOUR IN BRIDGE COME FROM ?..................... ( Article by none other than the Professor himself..... the one and only Hu Chi Ku Chi man )

As an academic and avid researcher, I have pondered long and hard over this question, but all too often failing to reach any plausible conclusion. However, thanks to a learned colleague of mine ( who lent me a wonderful book on Pseudo science ) I am now convinced I have the answer. Although Victor Mollo and David Bird may have observed that many bridge players display animal characteristics, both had remained unbelievably oblivious to the connection with LYCANTHROPY. This is defined as "the act of transformation from a human into an animal". The term Lycanthropy comes from the Greek words for wolf (lukos) and human (anthropos). The Greeks had noticed that those participating in highly competitive events metamorphosed into hissing, cackling, howling, snarling, grunting, bellowing, shrieking, yelping, baying, snapping animals.......all known for their predatory instincts, aggressive behaviour, and an ability to instil both fear and terror upon their intended victims.

Indeed, Lycanthropy has been described in many historical writings, including the Greek classic Satyricon, Saint Augustine's 4th century work The city of God, not to mention numerous medieval accounts. Last minute research by myself has revealed that the best examples of recent lycanthropic incidents have all come from the competitive and claustrophobic arenas of the bridge world.

Early beliefs suggest that lycanthrops can wilfully and magically transform themselves into animals. But these were proved wrong when it was medically established that bridge competitors turned into animals involuntarily.........when exp[osed to cometitive arenas where colossal amounts of "collective" testosterone was in the air, fuelled by dangerously high expectations, and fierce determination to win. So when large numbers of players enter the cramped accommodation of bridge venues, driven by a combination of competitive zeal and superiority complexes, then it comes as no surprise that many will succumb involuntarily to such transformations. As soon as the animal personae takes over, feelings of animousity towards both partners and opponents quickly follow.

But why is the presence of lycanthropy so prevalent in the world of bridge? Well, for some players who regard themseves as superior, they quickly recognise that operating as a pack ( ie. in a team) hunting becomes not only easier, but far more enjoyable. By perceiving less able players as "rabbits" their predatory animal instincts become so overwhelming, the transformation is both immediate and unavoidable. Jungian psychology has always claimed that lycanthropy represents the emergence of the archetypal carnivorous beast, which manifests itself in sadistic behaviour. Every single human being has been found to have this archetypal beast lurking within his/her psyche, but as my research shows it is playing bridge that so easily brings out this predatory beast in man.

However, there is one theory that suggests that lycanthropy stems from mental illness. If that is the case then, it is no coincidence that bridge players with all their appalling and tragic psychological disorders, afflictions and conditions succumb to such transformations. Although Dr. John has identified countless disorders affecting bridge players in their thousands, he too has also failed to make the connection with this strange and disturbing phenomenon.

So is it possible for bridge players to develop symptoms well short of any full-blown transformation ? Well, there was a reported case at Wolverhampton BC where a 60 year-old member started barking, grimacing, and growling at partners and opponents alike, whilst vehemently denying that he had turned into an animal. But the consensus of opinion clearly favoured the view that lycanthrops do not have any awareness of self-change, or their newly acquire animalistic traits.

Hopefully, this article will help every bridge player who falls victim to such transformations to console themselves that their beastly behaviour is not their fault. It's the game of bridge which is responsible. More importantly, it might help others to accept and forgive those who are driven to behave aggressively and petulantly. The sad truth is beastly behaviour in bridge can never be eliminated because bridge clubs provide the perfect environment , or should I say den, for lycanthropy to rear its ugly head.

( For any readers who doubt the authenticity and accuracy of my findings, then I suggest they read the " Review on Lycanthropy" as published in the Jan 1989 edition of the Journal Of The Royal Society Of Medicine, written by T.A. Fahy of Bethlem Royal and Maudsley Hospital London.)