( Yes, I am still on the topic of how to make bridge sound more exciting. Well, colourful vocabulary is one thing.....context is another.......especially when it involves write-ups about bridge hands. Such stories should be done in the style of "Dark Noir" thrillers as illustrated below. )
Johnny smiled as two unsuspecting guppies arrived at his table. The room was littered with circus tents, with bozos in abundance. His long and bony jaw jutted out from his pitted and acne-ravaged face. His nostrils quivered in anticipation. But now, his piercing blue eyes turned towards his cards. Johnny was a hardrock and was about to inflict his favourite coffeehousing trick upon this pair of chumps. He knew that Hollywood sitting opposite would as always play a great acting role in the unfolding theatre of the auction . After some deliberation, a monotone bid of "three hearts " broke the silence.
Hollywood was a lanky sun-tanned women in her late twenties, whose skimpy dress clung to her slender body with an effect of dampness. Her bright blue eyes and boyish face suited her frisky and playful demeanor. Just as she was absorbing the richness of her hand, the bumble-puppy on her right doubled. She then leaned so far forward her delicate breasts brushed against the top of the table. "Redouble" she said, so softly that only the purest articulation made the words intelligible. Now she slowly turned towards her LHO, but her cobalt blue eyes had narrowed to produce a probing and penetrating look. Her deep red moistened lips parted a fraction, which meant her glistening white teeth contrasted greatly with the murky backdrop of a dimly lit room.
To her left, Coco the clown had sunk deep into his chair. His tortured face was like that of a condemned man about to receive a death sentence. Lines on his face revealed a worried and panic-stricken soul. The smell of fear and dread oozed from his sweaty pores. With no four card suit ( other than hearts ) to bid, a limp and wimpish "pass" spluttered out from the back of his parched and burning throat.
Johnny, with a zombie-like movement, rocked violently back in his chair. He had been a good man in his early days, but how he relished his new role as an angle shooting shark. Viewing his opponents as a couple of stiffs, he smoothly passed. On hearing an ill-fated " four spades " from the Jonah to her right, Hollywood shifted her tall and pliantly slender frame into an upright and erect position. For anyone with vampire blood in their veins , it was the time to go for the jugular . " Double " she purred, with the teasing softness of a cat, whose victim had had nowhere to run.
Three more passes ended this one-sided bidding encounter. Hollywood led a telling low heart to Johnny's Ace, but angle shooters don't need Aces to win tricks. Being void in the suit and ruffing it instead is always easier. That look of sharp attentiveness meant no trouble for Johnny to switch to clubs, with Hollywood quickly in to devour declarer's king with her ace. A strong scent of blood quickly filled the air. Back came another low heart. Ruffed. A club return to Hollywood's queen. Yet another heart ruff to inflict further carnage upon the hapless greenhorns. And with a spade and two diamond tricks still to come, the devastation was complete. Five off doubled for a savage 1400 penalty.
Johnny winked at his partner. Psyching a pre-empt on a void had brought about a satisfying result. With a coy and sheepish look, Hollywood pursed her ruby red lips in her usual aching and longing way. But for "The Man" a few more rounds of bridge had to come first...................................
No comments:
Post a Comment