Monday, 15 March 2010

( Following Bigot-Johnson's surprise win in the Chairman's Pairs, it came to the committee's attention of a carding irregularity on his last board. Apparently, Bigot was the only one in the room to defeat to defeat a grand slam in spades, and it was this unbelievable result which edged him into top spot. The unfortunate declarer allowed Bigot to make a trick with the 7 of hearts courtesy of an invoke.....which was not detected at the time. )
Chairman : I'm afraid Bigot you've got some explaining to do.....
B-J : How come ?
Chairman : According to the hand records, it was not possible for you to take a trick in hearts with the 7 , thereby defeating the grand slam in spades, because.....
B-J : But I did...
Chairman : Please allow me to finish......because dummy was correctly dealt with the 7 of hearts. Your 7 did not belong to that board, being 14th card to be played in that suit. In other words you won a trick by virtue of an invoke. Unlike a revoke, this kind of irregularity involves following a suit when supposedly it is impossible to do so.
B-J : Ah...ah.....well, even if that is the case there are no prescribed the result must still stand. Anyway. if an idiot of a declarer cannot be bothered to count the cards, then he deserves to go down !
Chairman : But he did.....but then he doubted his own memory, after watching you following suit to each round of hearts played. So what we want to know Bigot is firstly, how come you didn't notice that two sevens were in play......and secondly, where did your seven come from ?
B-J : Of course I spotted the duplication, but I had no idea at that time there was an extra heart floating around in this pack. Why should I ? And as to where it came from ...well, it turned up with the other 12.
Chairman : I'm not convinced. You Bigot have a track record of selling your soul to the devil, if it means securing some prized or coveted silverware. You are an unscrupulous rogue. But on this occasion, your highly dubious and unethical practices have not succeeded. The revised score on this board is 7S tick, which means you and your partner must hand over the trophy to the newly declared winners, Percy Pantopod and Ivor Inky Pinky............and to add insult to injury, you are barred from entering this event for the next five years. Have you anything to say ?
B-J : Bugger...........

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