THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY...........................

• Scratch player : a restless and fidgety male, who has develop an unpleasant habit of rubbing his balls whenever he feels uncomfortable or anxious
• Rabbit : a novice player who immediately freezes whenever star-rated opponents enter the bidding with super light openings, overcalls and pre-empts
• Bad break : an occupational hazard for someone with brittle bones, who is partnering a highly volatile player renown for using excessive physical force to vent his frustration and displeasure
• Spread : what most travelling players wish for ( but never get ), when the tea interval comes along at an away Sunday league match venue
• Yarborough : a term which is incorrectly linked to a so called English Lord. But the truth behind its origin can be traced to an incident at Stourbridge BC, when in 1934 an inarticulate player picked up a totally useless and worthless hand. In a pique of rage, he bellowed out " Yah boo....rough bloody justice this is ! " A hard of hearing journalist misreported this outburst as " Yar-bo-rough.....", which for no apparent reason became a term synonymous with hands that are totally devoid of HCPs.