ANOTHER GREAT FANTASY BRIDGE STORY ....... ( By Pun )

A titanic struggle between the two runaway leaders was going right down to the wire. Their nip and tuck encounter on the top table was simply a matter now of who could hold their nerve on this final board.

Geronimo was partnering Yogi bear, and their opponents were the formidable Miss Piggy and Pinocchio.

However, by this stage of the match, tempers were fraying all round. Yogi was feeling particular grizzly, claiming his partner wasn't a patch on him as a player. Even Pinocchio agreed : "Yes....his bidding and play of the cards is as wooden as mine ".

Yet Miss Piggy, who had always admired Geronimo for his bare faced cheek , was quick to pull her partner up short : " I hate people who tell porkies ! .........someone should string you up and hang you till you're dead ! "

Thankfully, the bidding finally got underway, and Miss Piggy sitting South found herself in a precarious 6H. Unfortunately for her this had been axed by Geronimo. And even when Yogi Bear made an awful opening lead, she still looked upon dummy as a major disappointment.

" What a boo boo, " howled Geronimo , " that lead could have given them the contract. You talk the talk but never act. Yabber, yabber......that's all you ever do. "

Miss Piggy seized the opportunity to win the opening trick and rattle off seven more. Then all of a sudden she started to rub her eyes : " Damn this stye.....I'm sorry, but I need to go to the toilet to put in some drops ".

" I'm going too ", said Geronimo," I'm bursting........"

" I'm not surprised ", growled Yogi, " it's all that beer you drank at lunch-time ."

Geronimo quivered for a split second : " No....you're so wrong ... this is nothing more than a tea pee ".

Within minutes play resumed, and Miss Piggy faced the above 5 card ending requiring 4 more tricks. Her prospects looked bleak. She felt she was in a trough. Time now stood still as she racked her brains to find a way home.

" For pity's sake......hurry up, " yelled Geronimo, " I've got a reservation on the 10-30 train.....and I can't afford to miss it ".

Pinocchio turned towards a kibitzer, commenting " the cards must be lying badly......so who knows if she's going to make it. "

Yet, if anyone could dig herself out of a hole it was Miss piggy. Then without any warning, she suddenly perked up. She was back on track.

Still in dummy, she then played the 10 of spades. If Geronimo covered the 10 she would play low. If Yogi failed to overtake, the rest were hers on a complete cross-ruff. So Yogi quite sensibly overtook West's jack with the queen.

However, his best option was to return a trump, which he did after some considerable pause. Miss Piggy went up with the King of hearts......and poor Geronimo was shafted , being caught in an overtaking trump squeeze. If he discarded a diamond, declarer would play low from hand, and ruff a diamond to establish the twelfth trick in that suit. If Geronimo chose to discard a spade, Miss Piggy would overtake the king of hearts with her Ace, playing the king of spades next. Yogi would be forced to cover it, with East's jack well and truly pinned. This manouevre would establish the 9 of spades as the contract making trick.

Yogi thumped his chest in frustration. Geronimo was spitting feathers. Pinocchio was dancing with delight. And Miss Piggy of course was tickled pink.