By the age of :
- 4..........not wetting your pants
- 12........not being set upon for being the only smart arse kid in school who can play bridge
- 16........joining a bridge club but keeping it a secret from all your trendy friends
- 17........getting away with the first of many rule violations
- 20.......dating a woman who is not bothered when you're off playing bridge
- 25.......marrying a woman who really prefers her own company
- 30.......giving partner a " going over " the likes of which has never been witnessed before
- 32.......avoiding expulsion from your club on a clever and devious defence
- 35.......holding onto both your marriage and your job despite spending all your time playing bridge
- 45.......attaining the rank of regional master after spending well over £100,000 in the attempt
- 50......winning your first team trophy after finding 3 top players willing to sell their souls for money
- 55......standing for election onto the committee and getting voted in
- 60......getting a mention in the club's newsletter in a positive and complimentary way
- 65...... obtaining a sitting seat at the first time of asking
- 72.......still managing to get to the club on a regular basis
- 78.......still managing to fan your cards and count up to 13
- 82.......not wetting your pants and leaving your seat dry
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