Saturday, 7 May 2011

IT'S A CURIOUS THING THAT........................ ( Article Dr. Sigmund T. Schukelgruber )
The world of bridge is without doubt a strange and wonderful one. Situations experienced within a bridge club bear no similarity whatsoever to those experienced on the outside.
So to illustrate this point I would like you to consider the meaning of the following words, when they are preceded by the adjective " bridge ". Their ordinary dictionary meanings simply don't apply, because in the surreal world of bridge nothing is ever quite the same.
  • Bridge ego : one that drives a player to wallow constantly " me-deep " in conversation
  • Bridge diplomacy : a way of telling your partner to " go to hell " such that he/she actually looks forward to the trip
  • Bridge courtesy : the art of yawning with your mouth closed, especially when having to listen to players engaged in social chit-chat
  • Bridge committee : an elected body that keeps minutes and wastes hours
  • Bridge experience : memories of disappointments, failings and abuse
  • Bridge gossip : stories which fly around bar rooms and corridors, never based on lies when the truth is known to do far more damage
  • Bridge match buffet : a sandwich cut into 20 pieces
  • Bridge paradox : two bridge experts who are in agreement
  • Bridge club chairmen : people who shake your hand before the AGM elections, and your confidence not long after
  • Bridge novice : a disillusioned player who initially thought bridge was a friendly social game
  • Bridge partner : someone you often wish to see the back of, as soon as the first board is over
  • Bridge party : a sombre occasion where people spend long hours sitting in silence with long faces

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