Monday 19 December 2011

BIGOT-JOHNSON'S SHOCKING REVELATION....... ( A secretly recorded conversation set up by the devious and cunning Percy Pantopod )
Percy : Bigot....it does seem odd ....almost incongruous in fact..... that you .....a nasty, hard-nosed, ultra-aggressive, mean spirited bridge player...... have taken up a job as a senior nurse in charge of an intensive care unit at Bawtry Hospital
Bigot : Hmm...now you've brought that fact to my attention......it does seem odd
Percy : So what on earth possessed you to become a nurse when you know yourself to be a cruel, heartless, sadistic bastard......who sets out to make every one's life a misery......especially those who happen to be sitting at the same bridge table as you
Bigot : I must admit I do get a perverted kick out of seeing people suffer........but that's all down to the abuse I received as an incarcerated child at the orphanage
Percy : Well, let's not delve into that.....I want to know if there are other ....more positive.....reasons why you took up nursing ?
Bigot : Well....think of the opportunities I have.....each and every day..... to flirt with young, fresh-faced, highly susceptible, incredibly vulnerable, female nurses
Percy : Yes....but please jesting aside.....I want to know the real reasons for taking up this very rewarding job, where patients are brought back from the brink of death to be re-united with their families and friends ?
Bigot : Yes....you're right......the job offers me so many good things.....the challenge, the teamwork, the sense of responsibility.......erm....helping people get better, and the job satisfaction that comes with that.....the benefit from building up great nurse-patient relationships......and owww.....the drugs I get free access to..... those wonderful, uplifting, mind blowing drugs.......owww, there is nothing quite like the euphoric experience I get from these multi-coloured magical pellets......each one a tiny pharmaceutical miracle....... and owww.......the sheer intoxicating bliss......of being able to float...... to fly through the air.....such indulgence....and all on a chemical diet.....made in heaven.... there on hand...... to fulfil all my pleasure and enlightenment needs
Percy : I've think I've got enough......
Bigot : Enough of what...
Percy : Evidence....to get you into some very serious trouble......
Bigot : You bugger....

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