Thursday, 1 December 2011

Bridge books by and large are useless. They tend to focus on one aspect of a law, theory or principle , leaving out in the process far more relevant and meaningful applications. Take for instance the principle of restricted choice. All we get on this is a statement that the play of a particular honour card ( by an opponent ) decreases the possibility he/she holds any equivalent card. Well, let me tell you that this priciple has far more applications of greater merit. Every one will become a truism of great significance for the rank and file bridge player. So why not take the time to consider these additional applications :
The Principle of Restricted Choice......
- part (ii) states that when you arrive late at the club without a partner, chances of finding a decent floater is down to a choice between a woodentop and a complete idiot

- part (iii) states that at any AGM the only people who put themselves forward for Office are so bad , the choice often becomes one of voting for the devil you know and the devil you don't......or the lesser of two evils
- part (iv) states that when captain of the club's top team loses key players for the next match, he is left with an impossible choice of which sow's ears will make the best silk purses
- part (v) states that when you are dragged before a disciplinary committee for hurling a bridgemate across a crowded room and straight through a window, you find yourself between a rock and a hard place : the choice being a 6 month suspension or a hefty £400 repair bill
- part (vi) states that when you've been given an offer you can't refuse, a third choice often springs to mind, namely suicide

- part (vii) states that if by losing a match you'll face the axe, but by cheating your way to victory you'll face losing your EBU membership, then Hobson is the only person who can best advise you on which choice to make

- Part (viii) states that having revoked on a trick with the ace of trumps in a desperate attempt to cash out an established red suit winner to defeat the contract, you are then instructed by the TD to play instead " any colour you like, so long as it's black "

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