Friday 23 December 2011

LIES, DAMNED LIES AND THUNDERING BIG WHOPPERS........ ( Article by Carp )

Bridge players are renown for their exaggerations. hyperboles, little white lies, and the occasional fibs, but some go all the way with outrageous whopping big lies. Euphemism has its place in attempting to soften the blow of harsh and uncomfortable truths, but when an absolute falsehood is being made they can be no justification for it whatsoever. So here is my list of the 20 biggest porkies ever to come from the mouths of truly accomplished liars.....
1. It's always a pleasure to partner you......
2. Take this as a mild criticism....
3. Of course, I respect your judgement...
4. I promise not to get onto you....
5. I'm glad you rang, I was just going to call you....
6. I'd love to buy you a drink, but I haven't any money on me....
7. It doesn't matter if you make a mistake....
8. I'll not mention this " cock-up" of yours to anybody....
9. You can trust me....
10. I was magnificent.....
11. Listen partner, I know what I'm doing.....
12. I'm so sorry....I've double-booked......
13. I always have what my bids promise....
14. I swear to God I'll stick to the system....
15. I'm not one for bearing grudges....
16. It's not my fault....
17. No way did I hesitate then....
18. I didn't hear a thing said on the next table....
19. It's not me who's slow....
20. That wasn't meant as an insult...  

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