Friday, 30 December 2011

No matter how well you are playing,  your idiot partner just sits there converting potential tops into galactic bottoms. You are at the end of your tether. Frustrated to the point of going insane,  you are ready to explode. Your stress levels are off the graph. However, your immediate concern is that this kind of acute stress will activate your ulcers, possibly forcing you to give up the game which has become your life.
Clearly, the risk of developing a serious mental problem becomes all too apparent. You're well on the way to having a serious nervous breakdown. Yet, something can be done to settle your nerves,  and to deal with all that mental anguish and pain. Indeed, I have nicked a superb stress-management technique that will remove all those negative emotions.....and return you back to a state of  tranquillity, calmness, contentment and bliss. By following the 4 steps listed below,  you can be absolutely certain that partner-induced stress can be eliminated on the spot, enabling you to play out the remainder of the session in a positive frame of mind.......
1. Picture yourself beside a stream on a beautiful sunny day
2. Listen to the birds twittering in the trees, and the soft whisper of a warm and pleasant breeze. Nobody knows of this secret place, this perfect retreat, this wonderful sanctuary......a  paradise created and designed in accordance with all your hopes dreams, and wishes.
3. You are in total seclusion, away from the insanity and chaos of the bridge tables.
4.  But now listen to the gentle sound of the stream, filling the air with its soothing babble. Cast your eyes down at the nearby rock pool..... so clear and pure and clean.... you can not help but see the bulging eyes of your bastard partner you're steadfastly holding down under the water....... as he fights in vain for breath
And once you sense that total stillness ......a new stress-free person can now return to the reality of the world of bridge    

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