COMPLETELY GUTTED WHEN COMING SECOND ? PROFESSOR HU CHI KU CHI OFFERS WORDS OF COMFORTING ADVICE........
Getting in on the prizes for some players means nothing. Failing to lift the trophy leaves them bereft and bereaved. The exhaustion and pain which is etched on their faces is the unmistakable evidence of crushing disappointment .
Inevitably, players who just miss out start torturing themselves with an endless stream of " what if " and " if only" post mortems on all those critical hands. Moreover, if they are not beating up partners they are beating up themselves.
Much of their distress is to do with expectation, which can be particularly acute for players who saw themselves as favourites to win, or who felt towards the end that victory was well within their grasp. In some cases however, it is the pressure that some players put themselves under by setting unrealistically high internal standards. This quest for perfection is not so much about winning : it is far more about not having done themselves full justice .
Yet thankfully, there is a superb way to deal with the disappointment of coming second or third, without ever having to lay the blame on partner or yourself. the fact of the matter is that there is nothing you or anyone else could have done to change or influence the final result.
According to Marcus Aurelius " Either the world is a mere hotchpotch of random cohesions and dispersions, or else it is a unity of order and providence ".
If it is the former, the result was ultimately decided by a whole series of random incidents generating either good fortune or misfortune all round, with everyone the victim of unpredictable and unexpected consequences. For instance, your name might well have been etched upon the trophy but for the unfortunate fact that someone had replaced the cards incorrectly back into the board causing it to be scrubbed. This board of course was one in which you had chalked up as a galactic top.
If it is the latter scenario, then every result in the world of competitive bridge has been pre-ordained and predetermined by a higher authority. Your destiny and fate had already been set in concrete as part of a grand plan, where everything that happened was meant to be. Unity of order and providence demands that everything go according to what has already been mapped out.
Therefore , Marcus believes there is no point whatsoever in beating yourself up when ultimate victory has escaped from your grasp. Either it was never meant to be or that random events conspired against you. Trying one's best is what we must all set out to do, but please allow a little philosophy to enter into your life, if you wish to replace torment and pain with contentment and happiness.