Years ago Bigot was desperate to get onto the Walnut Tree Allotment BC committee, if only to push forward a proposal to get rid of Percy Pantopod for once and for all. All he needed was just a few more guaranteed votes to secure his selection. But where from ? Time and friends were now in very short supply.
With minutes to go before all the all important AGM, Bigot was touting for support in the rapidly emptying bar room. But there in the corner was a new member, just finishing off his pint of bitter. This was the perfect moment for a bit of smart bit of canvassing to promote his selection credentials. The young man sitting there seemed very approachable, and possibly open to persuasion.
" Allow me please to introduce myself ......my name is Bigot-Johnson......a well respected player and long serving member of this club. Can I count on you to put a cross against my name in the forthcoming ballot for new committee members ? "
" Not a bloody chance ", the man replied, " I'd rather nail you to a cross . Why, in the short time I have been at this club, I witnessed your appalling behaviour, and heard countless stories about your outrageous antics and crimes. You are nothing more than an unscrupulous scoundrel, completely devoid of intellect, decency, morality, integrity and charm. You are an infamouus bandit, a man who lives up to his name, a man whose sole aim in life is to nurture your self-interest and overly-inflated ego.... a man who is out to feather his own nest at the expense of making everybody's life a misery. You, Bigot, are a blot on the landscape of humanity. "
" Oh...so can I take it then...... that's a definite NO ? "
" YES.... "
And on that over-used expletive the conversation ended. Bigot of course failed to get elected.......... being as it happened just one vote short.