AN INTERVIEW WITH THE REAL HOWARD BIGOT-JOHNSON..........

Interviewer : Tell me why do you see the world of bridge as bizarre ?

RBJ : Allow me to answer the question this way..........When people look at a half-drunk glass of beer what do they see ? A glass that is half full ? Or a glass that is half empty ? Both statements reflect the truth, but each answer comes from a different perspective ......or should I say, from a different perception of what matters to them. My perception of the bridge world is of course tainted with pessimism and negative waves. Where others see only wonderment and joy, I also see frustration and sorrow. Where others only see a world full of happy, mentally stable, normal people, I see one one full of bizarre characters with all sorts of weird character traits and peculiarities.

I : But why do you see such darkness in a world, when the game itself is so enlightening , so enchanting and so beautiful ?

RBJ : A good question....but should you come across a man standing out in the open in the full glare of the sun, there is still a position from which you can only see his dark side. That of course is when you are caught in his shadow. The reality is that every bridge player has a shadow, which represents the darker side of his nature. And it is from that position where I choose to come from....... with regards to my perceptions and observations on bridge players in general.

I : But why not write more about the great and marvellous things that go on inside the bridge world.....the stuff that most people want to read about ?

RBJ : Every bridge book author and blogger ( to a man and woman ) does all this on a regular basis. Great writers who a real talent for making the game, and its celebrity characters, sound both exciting and fascinating. But I want to be different .....to operate in a niche market of my own......someone who is prepared to write from the shadows.......someone who is prepared to write about the darker side of the game in a humorous and satirical way...... which hopefully makes it a little bit more palatable. Let's face it ....many a true word is spoken in jest.......

I : So do you see the world of bridge as just simply bizarre .....or worst still..... sick and in terminal decline ?

RBJ : Given that bridge is the best game in the world, it is a tragedy that declining interest and membership numbers clearly indicate that game is dying on its feet. Its governing bodies and administrators are either blind as to causes of its demise , or blind as to the solutions that might help restore its health and popularity. The poison within the game are the players with their poisonous behaviour and attitudes. They need to be sucked out of the system and never be allowed to return. Bigot-Johnson, of course, epitomises every bit of poison that is circulating within the system.

I : Well, I never.....

RBJ : Well I guess that's the interview finished......where's my money?

I : I don't recall ever agreeing a fee ......so I'm afraid there is none

RBJ : Bugger.....