Saturday 20 August 2011

ANOTHER SHOCKING AND DISTURBING 60 SECOND INTERVIEW WITH BIGOT-JOHNSON.......
Interviewer (Paul) : Well Bigot , I see that your Best Behaviour At Bridge initiative turned out to be a disaster at the Slaughter House ?
B-J : What did you expect..... members like myself can't keep their emotions bottled up forever.....not when you've got red blood in your veins.....
Paul : So I take it you don't now run a zero tolerance policy either ?
B-J : Too bloody right....we don't...... because bridge needs to be regarded as a sport ?
Paul : Yes....I guess so
B-J : But...... it also needs to be seen as one of greatest hunting sports ever devised
Paul : How come ?
B-J : Because bloody bridge clubs like mine are overrun with rabbits.....and as you can imagine , they represent a real nuisance and a growing problem
Paul : In what way ?
B-J : Once a duplicate is underway, you keeping coming across these buck-toothed, floppy-eared players at almost every table. This means you either end up with dozens of spectacular, mostly unsatisfying tops, by virtue of a sack load of gifts.....or dozens of nerve-shattering , hugely embarrassing , bottoms.... because somehow their gross stupidity turns out to deliver unexpected triumphs......
Paul : That's life...
B-J : Well I'm not allowing bridge at my club to end up like random lotteries....these rabbits need to be hunted down and disposed of.....
Paul : Metaphorically speaking I suppose ?
B-J : No ...I mean literally
Paul : So correct me if I'm wrong.....you clearly have a zero tolerance for these rather inept and clueless players ?
B-J : I guess so...
Paul : Which means in effect...... you do believe in zero tolerance policies......happy to support and embrace them fully ?
B-J : By George.....you're right......I never looked at it that way
Paul : Glad I was able to put you right......

No comments: