( Bigot-Johnson, the newly appointed bridge teacher at the club, once again tried out one of his unorthodox methods on a class of young female students. He firmly believed that it was essential to start the course by first introducing them to yoga, as part of their initial mental training. A short extract from the hearing's transcript appears below. )
Chairman : What the blue blazes has yoga got to do with teaching these young ladies the basics of bridge ?
B-J : Ah....I'm glad you asked me that....because as you know, the secret to playing bridge successfully, requires a mind to be fully focused and concentrating on the game. This of course requires students to learn the art of clearing their minds of useless clutter. Once that has happened, they can then channel all their mental energy into what to bid, and what cards to play.
Chairman : All very well and good.....but we have received a very serious complaint about your behaviour. You told one of your students, as you rushed by her for a speedy exit , how physically attractive she was.
B-J : Yes.....that's correct....but so what !
Chairman : Well, you clearly left her in a very awkward position.....
B-J : Oh....
Chairman : Behaviour like that is a disgrace......you've clearly brought this club into disrepute, and now something needs to be done to restore its good name and reputation........So tell me Bigot....what steps do you intend to take.
B-J : Effing big ones !
( And on that rather abrupt and unsavoury reply, Bigot-Johnson rose from his seat, headed straight for the door, and with giant strides disappeared down the road into the setting sun. )
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