THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY....................................

• Tournament director ( TD ) : one skilled in the circumvention of the laws on bridge, especially when asked to give rulings against top class players and/or friends
• Book ruling : a decision which even the most competent TDs get right only 50% of the time
• Judgement ruling : an open invitation for TDs to exercise bias, prejudice and favouritism, when the Orange Book provides no guidance on how to resolve a difficult and/or problematic incident
• Orange Book : a wonderful resource for knowledgeable players to fall back on, to help them substitute or restore a good board result for bad one. By seeking to exercise their rights under a welter of complex rules, they create for themselves countless " win-win " situations. If the actual board result doesn't give them a top, they then fall back on their original " we reserve our rights " claims, fully confident a weak and inadequate TD will come to their rescue at the end.
• Reserving one's rights : a common practice amongst the fiercest competitors to intimidate error prone beginners into becoming even more nervous and hesitant than before. This in turn ensures futher transgressions by these damaged souls, enabling the " win-at-all-cost- bullies " to seek and obtain further advantageous rulings.