Yes, this is serious. As we all know, urban myths are nothing more than fanciful, imaginative stories that evolved from a single grain of truth. Indeed, the same can be said of Greek Mythology. These are stories which over thousands of years have clearly evolved into weird and wonderful tales. Inevitably, scholars of today dismiss them as pure fiction. But not us, here at my institute, where my team of researchers have at last been able to translate some ancient Greek documents ( recently discovered in a secret cave high up in the mountains near Athens ) to set the record straight.
These fragile parchments prove beyond all reasonable doubt that there was a world in which Zeus and other Greek Gods ruled over. A world in which mortals co-existed with immortals. A world full of monsters and magic. A world in fact in which the Gods created a truly great and wonderful game for all its inhabitants to play......yes, the game of bridge. They even went as far as building a huge temple , shaped like a box, where enthusiasts could go in to play the game in large numbers. And the person the Gods put in charge of running these duplicates was a Greek Eve called Pandora. Not surprisingly, this great temple then became known as Pandora's Box.
However, the translations reveal that this perfect game did not always lead to perfect social harmony and personal well-being. Negative emotions were getting out of control. Players were allowing their worst characteristics and human traits to come to the surface. Their inner demons were taking over. They had " corrupted " a beautiful game into something mean and nasty. The Gods were angry.....so angry ......that they rounded on Pandora, and as punishment she was turned into a mere mortal. Not only that but they shrunk Pandora's Box into the size and shape of a bidding box, killing all those inside. The spirits of poor unfortunate victims were now condemned to purgatory, and to remain forever inside that box, and any other like it.
Yet so the curse of Pandora's Bidding Box holds true today. Players who elect to go bridge clubs, and open up bidding boxes, will inevitably unleash hundreds of demented and tortured spirits........ a form of collective " negative energy" out to inflict untold misery and pain upon those present . Any player who opens a bidding box is asking for trouble. All kinds of torment, and all the misfortunes of existence will be released. The sorrow, pain, and conflict will become all consuming. Players will experience untold woes in abundance. These poisoned gifts within the box will occasionally provide a modicum of joy for the few, but overwhelming misery for the rest. The undeniable truth is there for all to see week in week out : Pandora's Bidding Box will never stop working its mischief. All bridge players, as decreed by the Gods, must suffer and share, like those in the temple, the horrors of the game.
Indeed, this curse will never be broken, and this explains why whenever we next go to the club, sit down to play bridge, the same things will happen the moment we open up that bidding box. We will become victims to the dark forces that lurk within. Powerful, unforgiving forces that will subject us to terrible, frightening and awful experiences. So no, this phenomenon is not a Greek myth ; it is a 21st century reality. Pandora's Box really exists, and it appears everywhere, sitting on each and every bridge table across the world, waiting for players to yet again ignore the warnings, and open them up at their peril..........................