Saturday, 10 February 2018


This was the case which this notorious parking bully boy believed it could win. At long last Bigot would be defeated in court. Not only was he up for non-payment of a parking fee but also criminal damage to property. 

Counsel for the plaintiff : you admit to failing to pay for one hour's parking and destroying one of Excel's highly sophisticated ticket machines
B-J : No....
CP : Well , the facts speak for themselves. The company received no monetary payment for the one hour stay, and we have dozens of photos depicting the carnage inflicted upon the ticket machine ......which I might add was left beyond repair
B-J : Ah well....the machine was clearly faulty because my first £1 coin got stuck in the slot.I tried to retrieve it by using a thin piece of wire but to no avail. So I telephoned the Excel's number to explain the difficulty I was in and to find out what my options were if any.
CP : Yes ?
B-J : I asked them if it was OK to have " another go " at retrieving my coin. I was told " yes, by all means ", which I took as blanket permission to use any other method that I saw fit. 
CP : But setting about the ticket machine with a sledge hammer and other heavy duty tools , which you rather conveniently had in the back of your car was not what the company envisaged.
B-J :  Permission was given with no restrictions in place. I think " by all means " says it all. They never enquired as to what means I might be employing. Drastic action called for drastic measures.
CP : I'm sorry but your actions amounted to criminal damage ........the like of which Excel has never seen in all its years of operation
B-J : My actions were the only means by which I could achieve my objective. Indeed , I successfully managed to retrieve my coin from the wreckage scattered about my feet. As to what happened to all the other coins strewn about the place I haven't a clue , but I do recall a huge queue of people with itchy fingers and big smiles ready to dive in as soon as I left the scene.
CP : Ah ......but there's still the matter of non-payment
B-J: Yes .......I intended to make a payment at the other ticket machine, which was at the opposite end of the car park. However , some other motorist had been inspired by what I was doing.....and had already set about that machine with a hefty crowbar and other implements of destruction. So you see ....payment was now impossible...... and as a consequence of that..... the possibility of forming a contract had gone completely.  
Judge : I agree.....when payment.......was rendered impossible for lack of ticket machines in good working condition , it was obvious that acceptance of the offer could never take place.  Therefore,  in such circumstances neither party has any rights against the other. Case dismissed.


No comments: