SMART ARSE PARKING SOLUTIONS COME UP WITH THE ULTIMATE SCAM.........( as revealed by this covert recording of their recent board meeting )
- What's the profit forecast for the current financial year ?
- Beyond our expectations. We're making money hand over fist
- Great news.....there's nothing so pleasing as conning motorists out of their hard earned
cash .Mind you....we still need to seek out new avenues to catch out more of these suckers
than ever before
- I agree......complacency in business is a sin. Not as big as the sins we're committing in
extorting money from the old, weak, stupid and vulnerable ass-holes who have no where
else to park......other than visit our conveniently located sites......but a sin nevertheless
- So any ideas then ?
- Yes....I've got one that could prove to be an absolute gold mine
- Please tell all
- Well....it would enable us to issue a PCN against every motorist foolishly choosing to
park up at one of our sites
- No way....
- Yes..... in every way......my idea is so simple it's both beautiful and sublime. You see our
signage gives the motorist scope to exit the car park early.......without penalty. That
practice has to be stopped in its tracks. At present we have a tariff system which quotes
different parking fees for " up to " 2 hours , 4 hours and so on.....
- But that's standard practice
- Not anymore it isn't. We should drop the wording " up to " creating a situation where the
motorist agrees to park up say for 2 hours......not a minute before or a minute after.
" 2 hours " means exactly that..... 2 hours. This is the time the motorist has contractually
committed himself to stay. By not adhering to the intended length of stay he himself chose
we can shaft him...... and all those other motorists who under-stay as well as those who
overstay. No one therefore can escape a PCN..... except for those lucky bastards who
miraculously leave on the agreed dot
- Brilliant....but wont motorists see this as the scam of all scams
- Are you kidding......they will pay up because that's what they do.....anything to escape
the hassle and torment resulting from futile resistance against a torrent of evil threats ,
nasty bullying and extreme intimidation. We're onto a guaranteed winner here....
- I agree entirely
- Let's bring it on then
- With malice aforethought
- Of course....that's always taken for granted