Saturday, 10 February 2018


In many unmanned private car parks the camera is king. Vehicle registration plates are photographed on entry and exit , giving these parking cowboys countless opportunities to issue PCNs for overstaying and entering incorrect registration plate details. Yet despite this supposed foolproof technology , Bigot found the perfect riposte as highlighted in this following landmark case.

Smart Arse Parking Solutions v. Bigot-Johnson  (2018)

Counsel for the plaintiff : We believe this man......the defendant .....entered the car in his metallic grey Toyota Corolla and left without paying. Unfortunately we have no photo records to prove this but by a fortunate co-incidence one of Smart Arse's employees was in a pub where Bigot was proudly boasting about his amazing coup
B-J : Show me the evidence that I used that car park on that day
CP : We do have photos of a car similar in colour and make to yours .....but unfortunately the vehicle registration plates were obscured from view by a pedestrian
B-J : Still no proof that is was my car in those photos
CP : No....however although the plates were not visible there was a woman of your age who walked just in front of the car on entry.......and just behind the vehicle on exit.
B-J : An amazing co-incidence
CP : Yes indeed....but my client strongly suspects it was you who was up to no good and foul play........and that your wife had a part to play in it
B-J : Well ...Smart Arse Parking knows all about foul play being the perpetrator of the lowest, meanest,  most dastardly tricks known to mankind in entrapping motorists and then bullying them relentlessly..... until they submit into paying unfair and unwarranted PCNs
Judge : Well , as I see it suspicion alone is not evidence enough to establish Bigot as the
culprit involved. Moreover hearsay evidence of a confession is inadmissible too. Case dismissed.......and by the way Bigot..... how far from the car would a pedestrian have to be to interfere and block out the camera's view ?
B-J : Well....having no actual experience to draw upon....I would offer an opinion of around four to six feet
Judge : Useful information that......thank you very much indeed
CP : Your Honour.....motorists are not allowed to get away with such practices
Judge : Ah....but there's nothing in the company's on-site signage that states otherwise.
And in any case there is nothing in law which can forbid a random pedestrian or stranger to walk in front and behind slow moving vehicles in a car park. People milling about in car parks happens all the time. And freedom of movement is a sacred democratic right is it not ?
CP : Oh my God .....Smart Arse directors are going to be really pissed off by this outcome
Judge : I'm glad to hear it
B-J : Me too

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