Saturday 3 February 2018

RIP OFF PARKING DIRECTORS HOLD AN EMERGENCY BRAINSTORMING MEETING

-  We cannot afford to be complacent
-  Absolutely.....motorists are out in the thousands and they all need to be shafted
-  Shafted
-  Shafted like never before 
-  So we need to up the number of PCNs sent out each week
-  Is that possible ?  .....They're already at a record high. And the scams we've got going for 
   us can't really deliver that many more
-  Yes ...and if that is true , it's of paramount importance to come up with something which
   is excitingly new and devilishly cunning 
-  I agree.....there's always scope for bleeding these soft-touch motorists even more. What
   we've got is a captive market , since street parking spaces are in such short supply. So 
   they have no choice but to come to our sites and agree to our nasty and onerous terms 
   and conditions.
-  So why not raise the parking tariffs ? 
-  The local retailers would complain that such a  move would deter motorists from shopping
    there. No....we must do our best to attract motorists to come and shop in the area and to 
    use our car parks. Low tariffs and 2 hours free parking usually does the trick.
-  What we need to do is sneak in a new term or condition into the contract which most will
   fail to notice.....and those who do will find it incredibly hard to abide by. A term which will 
   regularly snare and entrap tens of thousands into handing over their money.
-  I've got an idea .....a real gem.....guaranteed to generate a huge new block of PCN's
-  Great.....let's hear it then
-  Well , we put up on the signage that cars must not only park within the bays but also
   they must be " facing straight and properly aligned ". This means any motorist who parks
   at an angle ........even one degree out.......can be clobbered. All we need to do is provide 
   photographic proof 
-   Yes....I can see the beauty in this.... in that if one motorists has parked up at an angle, 
    others will .......or perhaps even forced .....to do the same. It's absolutely brilliant...... 
-   Don't we just love being part of this money making racket

    
  
        

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