PRIVATE PARKING COMPANIES, ILLEGAL PCNs , AND
POOR UNSUSPECTING MOTORISTS
Cowboy parking companies by any notion of justice ought to be prosecuted under the 2006 Fraud Act . These highway robbers commit contrary ss 1 (2) (a) and 2 in that they falsely claim they are entitled to tenfold the actual losses resulting by an alleged breach of their terms and conditions. Not only do they falsely represent this crucial fact , which in most instances involves no loss whatsoever, they also use misleading and deceptive practices to intimidate motorists into paying.... what they are led to believe are... fines. The PCN's are deliberately set out to mimic those issued by local uuathorities in order to hoodwink the motorists into believing that they are genuine fines , which under criminal law have to be paid. Moreover, private parking companies not only commit fraud , but their actions also border on theft , in that money is obtained by deception and/or menaces and threats.
Why this dirty practice has been allowed to continue for so long beggarslief. Perhaps previous governments have a dislike for motorists , happy to turn a blind eye to how this corrupt unregulated industry operates. But one thing is certain : the DVLA on behalf of the government pockets milions (£) given the vast number of requests made by these fraudsters to obtain the personal details of motorists' names and addresses. With each request costing £2.50 really big money is involved, and the DVLA seems complicit in their illegal shananegans. Perhaps the motto of never bite the hand that feeds you is one which the government has seemingly taken on board.
A PCN is without a doubt a " lie ". It is not a notice or a parking charge. It is in most instances a speculative invoice. In other cases it is a claim for damages resulting from an alleged breach of contract. It is in essence a document that sets out to punish alleged transgressors , whilst generating huge profits at the motorists' expense. A breach of contract is purely a civil matter, not a criminal offence. In situations like over-staying , parking companies should be entitled to recover the lost revenue involved, plus the small cost of a DVLA enquiry and sending out a claim by post. So why the Supreme Court introduced the notion that a claim can also include a " deterrent element " seemingly contradicts all previous legal precedents on unenforceable penalty clauses , along with a whole raft of important "protections " found in consumer legislation. This departure from the basic principle of not allowing the injured party to make a profit from a breach of contract only seems justified , when serial long-term overstayers have a profound negative impact on the parking company's traffic space maximisation objective.
Nevertheless, although this authorative precedent has helped the cause of these fraudsters the essential principles of contract law , alongwith the cardinal protections found in The Unfair Contract Terms Act , still remain intact , Thankfully , because cases are often judged on their merits , many will be distinguished on the facts from the appalling precedent laid down by the Supreme Court in Parking Eye v. Beavis.
What motorists need to be aware of is that private parking companies are in the business of implementing a very persuasive and convincing bluff. These rogue outfits use or threaten to use the County Court system as a monstrous bluff , with the sole aim to dishonestly milk unsuspecting motorists of their hard earned cash. Moreover, should a dispute go all the way and end up in court, these companies are simply hoping and praying decisions go in their favour. Thankfully CC judges have recognised the damages claimed often go way beyond actual losses incurred , especially in cases which involve motorists paying the correct parking fee but failing to adhere to rules , which lead to no actual loss ever being incurred.
Sadly , all CC decisions lack binding authority, which means in effect that going to court is like taking part in a lottery. Of course , these multi-million pound bully boys are very aware of this fact , and have the financial muscle to pursue more and more cases in court to keep this. monstrous bluff alive.
As yet the law has failed to declare their dirty practices as illegal , although they clearly are. So despite these fraudsters receiving bloody noses in the past , they relentlessly carry on ignoring these defeats , knowing that they are at liberty to continue their racketeering operations with impunity.
Motorists , quite understandably , don't want the hassle, stress .misery and expense that goes with challenging these illegal fines. The easy option is to pay up , and to berate themselves for their foolish mistakes and misfortunes. And these parking cowboys rely on such fear , cowardice and apathy to their financial advantage. Motorists in their eyes are like sacrificial lambs to be butchered and slaughtered repeatedly , to be ripped off over and over again.
The Parking Prankster has attempted to do a job which the government should have done years ago : and that is to help the small motorists take on the big evil money-grapping goliaths of the parking industry. The man is a true David with a sling in every sense of the word. Now it is time for the government to step in and kill these goliaths for once and for all. Why should a motorist , who is wrongly harrassed for money , and who in reality owes these companies nothing , be obliged to risk his savings by having to stand up alone against them. Surely it is the responsibility of the government to act on the victim's behalf. Thankfully , Sir Greg Knight is one politician who is now willing to take over the baton from the legendary Parking Prankster. ......the original knight in shining armour .
Monday, 12 March 2018
Saturday, 10 March 2018
THE TOTAL INJUSTICE OF PCN SCAMS : PRIVATE PARKING COMPANIES STAND ACCUSED
No one disputes the fact that there are selfish, inconsiderate, cheating motorists who inflict mischief and distress on others , not to mention defrauding car parking companies of their essential ticket revenue. Indeed , these companies provide a valuable service enabling motorists to park up in areas where street parking is very limited or non-existant. And yes , these car parks need to be managed properly , especially in relation to tackling the problem of repeated and/or long-term over-staying , so that free spaces are quickly made available to cater for other motorists hoping to park up.
Nevertheless , motorists also need to be treated with consideration and respect and to have their custom welcomed and appreciated.. In makes good business sense to build up customer loyality and to have a reputation that encourages motorists to revisted these sites, often to the benefit of the local shops and community. Customers provide an important and lucrative income stream to private parking companies, but one which is clearly not enough. The loss of repeated custom appears to be of no consequence given the vast number of potentially new , unsuspecting customers ready and willing to use their sites.
The reality of a £100 PCN is that it represents 50 customers in one foul swoop , by simply isuing a speculative invoice. With no further loss of parking bays involved, a motorist therefore can be made to pay for a his/stay 50 times over , because of some dodgy pretext on which to raise a highly suspect PCN.
I can think of no other business that treats its customer with such distain and contempt. To these companies, a motorist represents a sacrificial cash cow to be butchered and bled dry. No room for compassion , sympathy and understanding : just relentless intimidation and harassment until they pay up. Using the same business model as loan sharks , firms like Eccel Parking Services and Parking Eye keep increasing the debt and of course the severity of the threats, until their victims eventually give in.
Why much needed legislation to curb the dirty practices carried out by rogue parking operators has taken so long in coming is beyond me. The racket has be going on for years without any proper form of regulation and control. The BPA is a joke , along with POPLA. Their priority is to protect the interests of their members , ie. private parking companies , and they do that with great zeal and relish. The fact that a large majority of motorists have been exploited by these dodgy PCNs goes unnoticed and unaddressed. Just a few token appeals are allowed.
These companies have no moral compass , no guiding ethical values to adhere to , no soul and certainly no conscience. Even when a motorist wins in court to establish a precedent that a PCN was wrongly issed , does the company elect to refund the money already raked in from all previous victims of this outrageous scam ? No bloody chance. In fact these bastards will ignore that ruling in the hope that tomorrow's motorists remain blissfully unaware of it.... and dutifully hand over money for the same scam.
Welcome to the world of modern day racketeeering.
No one disputes the fact that there are selfish, inconsiderate, cheating motorists who inflict mischief and distress on others , not to mention defrauding car parking companies of their essential ticket revenue. Indeed , these companies provide a valuable service enabling motorists to park up in areas where street parking is very limited or non-existant. And yes , these car parks need to be managed properly , especially in relation to tackling the problem of repeated and/or long-term over-staying , so that free spaces are quickly made available to cater for other motorists hoping to park up.
Nevertheless , motorists also need to be treated with consideration and respect and to have their custom welcomed and appreciated.. In makes good business sense to build up customer loyality and to have a reputation that encourages motorists to revisted these sites, often to the benefit of the local shops and community. Customers provide an important and lucrative income stream to private parking companies, but one which is clearly not enough. The loss of repeated custom appears to be of no consequence given the vast number of potentially new , unsuspecting customers ready and willing to use their sites.
The reality of a £100 PCN is that it represents 50 customers in one foul swoop , by simply isuing a speculative invoice. With no further loss of parking bays involved, a motorist therefore can be made to pay for a his/stay 50 times over , because of some dodgy pretext on which to raise a highly suspect PCN.
I can think of no other business that treats its customer with such distain and contempt. To these companies, a motorist represents a sacrificial cash cow to be butchered and bled dry. No room for compassion , sympathy and understanding : just relentless intimidation and harassment until they pay up. Using the same business model as loan sharks , firms like Eccel Parking Services and Parking Eye keep increasing the debt and of course the severity of the threats, until their victims eventually give in.
Why much needed legislation to curb the dirty practices carried out by rogue parking operators has taken so long in coming is beyond me. The racket has be going on for years without any proper form of regulation and control. The BPA is a joke , along with POPLA. Their priority is to protect the interests of their members , ie. private parking companies , and they do that with great zeal and relish. The fact that a large majority of motorists have been exploited by these dodgy PCNs goes unnoticed and unaddressed. Just a few token appeals are allowed.
These companies have no moral compass , no guiding ethical values to adhere to , no soul and certainly no conscience. Even when a motorist wins in court to establish a precedent that a PCN was wrongly issed , does the company elect to refund the money already raked in from all previous victims of this outrageous scam ? No bloody chance. In fact these bastards will ignore that ruling in the hope that tomorrow's motorists remain blissfully unaware of it.... and dutifully hand over money for the same scam.
Welcome to the world of modern day racketeeering.
Wednesday, 7 March 2018
MR. CLAMPETT v. BIGOT-JOHNSON (2018)
This recent high profile libel case immediately captured the public's interest and attention , as it involved the plaintiff , namely the chief executive of an infamous private parking company , taking umbrage at one of Bigot-Johnson's blog postings. The defendant had described him as an " evil " money grabbing bastard who was morally bankrupt , and who epitomised " the dildo " that fitted the sphincter ring of the private parking industry ".
The following extract from the trial's transcript covered a critical stage in the proceedings as Bigot was clearly gaining the upper hand.
Counsel for the plaintiff : Bigot ....these comments you made about my client have clearly damaged his good reputation.....possibly beyond repair
Bigot : Evil bastards have no good reputation to protect......such people , like Mr. Clampett , have become infamous over time.... because of their vindictive , mean, evil , dirty practices.
Hitler was an evil bastard.....and so are all the people who manage cowboy parking companies , the worst of which is Excel At Scamming
CP : My client is a respectable business man who runs a legitimate business trying to manage the traffic flow into and out of his car parks , trying to achieve traffic space maximisation for the benefit of all motorists
B-J : What a load of bollocks. His business model is all about customer exploitation, demanding money with menaces, and persecuting the old and vulnerable in particular , who are too frail and feeble to stand up against highway robbers like him
CP : In a modern capitalist society you are allowed to make whatever profit you can...
B-J : But not by dirty practices , deception , inciting fear and blatant intimidation
Judge : But what about the comment that described in effect Mr. Clampett as a dildo ?
Can you justify that ?
B-J : Too right I can. The man is a prick....a complete knob.....someone who is only interested in shafting motorists.
Judge : Clearly an appropriate analogy
CP : Objection....we have not established any truth behind these vile andmalicious comments......my client has often given money away to good charitable causes
B-J : You mean his passed on a tiny fraction of his ill-gotten gains no doubt in an attempt to earn himself a knighthood....and of course to deflect a mounting tide of criticism so often coming his way
Judge : So Bigot I take it you are not relying on truth as your defence
B-J : Not entirely . Although it could provide a complete and absolute exoneration for my actions, I realise the onus is on me to prove the truth. This could be done but only by getting statements from the tens of thousands of motorists who have been shafted by this mean, vindictive , evil-minded prick. No..... my defence relies on honest opinion , which has replaced the phrase fair comment. These views are my honest opinions , all of which have an apparent basis from the shared beliefs within the motoring community.....opinions which all right-thinking, decent, law abiding motorists currently hold
Judge Yes...I too am a motorist who believes that parking cowbugs are total scumbags
CP : I object...
Judge : Object all you like....... because criticism of Mr. Clampett is a matter of public interest , especially in light of the fact that a newly proposed Parking Bill stems from widespread condemnation of the dirty practivces tossers like your client have been allowed to get away with for far too many years.
CP : But ...I have many more questions for BIgot to answer
Judge : No further questions fullstop. Case dismissed. There's so such thing as a person of good reputation who operate this appalling racket of extorting money from innocent motorists. All costs to be met by your client .....someone no doubt who is known to his criminal associates as possibly..... Percy... John Thomas...... Dick.......
B-J : ...But more likely Rod or Nobby.......
This recent high profile libel case immediately captured the public's interest and attention , as it involved the plaintiff , namely the chief executive of an infamous private parking company , taking umbrage at one of Bigot-Johnson's blog postings. The defendant had described him as an " evil " money grabbing bastard who was morally bankrupt , and who epitomised " the dildo " that fitted the sphincter ring of the private parking industry ".
The following extract from the trial's transcript covered a critical stage in the proceedings as Bigot was clearly gaining the upper hand.
Counsel for the plaintiff : Bigot ....these comments you made about my client have clearly damaged his good reputation.....possibly beyond repair
Bigot : Evil bastards have no good reputation to protect......such people , like Mr. Clampett , have become infamous over time.... because of their vindictive , mean, evil , dirty practices.
Hitler was an evil bastard.....and so are all the people who manage cowboy parking companies , the worst of which is Excel At Scamming
CP : My client is a respectable business man who runs a legitimate business trying to manage the traffic flow into and out of his car parks , trying to achieve traffic space maximisation for the benefit of all motorists
B-J : What a load of bollocks. His business model is all about customer exploitation, demanding money with menaces, and persecuting the old and vulnerable in particular , who are too frail and feeble to stand up against highway robbers like him
CP : In a modern capitalist society you are allowed to make whatever profit you can...
B-J : But not by dirty practices , deception , inciting fear and blatant intimidation
Judge : But what about the comment that described in effect Mr. Clampett as a dildo ?
Can you justify that ?
B-J : Too right I can. The man is a prick....a complete knob.....someone who is only interested in shafting motorists.
Judge : Clearly an appropriate analogy
CP : Objection....we have not established any truth behind these vile andmalicious comments......my client has often given money away to good charitable causes
B-J : You mean his passed on a tiny fraction of his ill-gotten gains no doubt in an attempt to earn himself a knighthood....and of course to deflect a mounting tide of criticism so often coming his way
Judge : So Bigot I take it you are not relying on truth as your defence
B-J : Not entirely . Although it could provide a complete and absolute exoneration for my actions, I realise the onus is on me to prove the truth. This could be done but only by getting statements from the tens of thousands of motorists who have been shafted by this mean, vindictive , evil-minded prick. No..... my defence relies on honest opinion , which has replaced the phrase fair comment. These views are my honest opinions , all of which have an apparent basis from the shared beliefs within the motoring community.....opinions which all right-thinking, decent, law abiding motorists currently hold
Judge Yes...I too am a motorist who believes that parking cowbugs are total scumbags
CP : I object...
Judge : Object all you like....... because criticism of Mr. Clampett is a matter of public interest , especially in light of the fact that a newly proposed Parking Bill stems from widespread condemnation of the dirty practivces tossers like your client have been allowed to get away with for far too many years.
CP : But ...I have many more questions for BIgot to answer
Judge : No further questions fullstop. Case dismissed. There's so such thing as a person of good reputation who operate this appalling racket of extorting money from innocent motorists. All costs to be met by your client .....someone no doubt who is known to his criminal associates as possibly..... Percy... John Thomas...... Dick.......
B-J : ...But more likely Rod or Nobby.......
Tuesday, 6 March 2018
COWBOY PARKING COMPANIES ARE AT IT AGAIN.....
The quest to issue more and more PCNs continues as these rogue outfits look to dream up another raft of parking violations , just simply to increase their already considerable profits. The more scams they can get away with on unsuspecting motorists , who are more than willing to pay than fight, the bigger and better the salaies and bonuses the directors can look forward to.
So here are a few ideas these highway robbers have ( as yet ) overlooked :
Parking a car
The quest to issue more and more PCNs continues as these rogue outfits look to dream up another raft of parking violations , just simply to increase their already considerable profits. The more scams they can get away with on unsuspecting motorists , who are more than willing to pay than fight, the bigger and better the salaies and bonuses the directors can look forward to.
So here are a few ideas these highway robbers have ( as yet ) overlooked :
Parking a car
- in a skoo-wiff position
- that is in need of an urgent clean
- with the radio still on
- with its wing mirrors still out
- that is hideously painted ( an eyesore )
- for the purposes of sex or any other forms of questionable behaviour
- with the handbrake not properly on
- simply to have a nap
- with an unattended animal or child left inside
- that is leaking oil
- in any open space or unmarked area
- that is unroadworthy ( eg bald tyres or defective handbrake )
- which lowers the image and up-market reputation of the site
- with the lights on
- in an unsatisfactory and/or dangerous manner causing a nuisance to others
- with tasteless fluffly dice dangling over the dashboard
- in a blue bay with a yellow ticket or vice-versa
- too close to an adjacent car
- on a lovely warm day when one should be walking to the shops
Friday, 2 March 2018
PROPOSED NEW PARKING BILL SENDS SHOCK WAVES THROUGH THE RANKS OF COWBOY OPERATORS
A hurriedly convened meeting of the rogue cowboys took place at The Ritz in London as worried executives were now having to face up to the reality of having a multitude of legal restrictions placed upon their highly suspect business activities
- That tosser Greg Knight ought to be shot
- Too bloody right......what the hell is he doing intoducing this Parking Bill ? Hasn'y he got
any feelings for us ? This Bill could put an end to the numerous scams we've getting away
with for years.
- How many scams might be under threat of being scuppered ?
- About two dozen were mentioned in the debate
- About half the number we currently operating at the moment
- My God this is a disaster
- Greg reckons this Bill will mark the beginning of the end of these parasites......by which
of course he means us
- The bastard
- And what's worse he wants the contract motorists enter into with us to be reasonable
- Ahhhh ......that's awful
- Transparent
- Ahhhh ......that's obscene
- Involving a consistent process,,,, with poor signage, unresonable terms , exorbitant
parking charges, aggressive demands for payment....all to be consigned to the past
- Ahhhh.......what god damn planet is this man on
- Yes....I too feel your acute pain...... but all is not lost
- Why's that ?
- We have a valuable commodity........land.......land which is in short supply.....land which is
ideally located and desperately sought after by motorists who cannot find enough parking
spaces on the street . In short we have a captive market which enables us to exploit
motorists to the full
- Yes......I see where you're coming from.......since demand greatly exceeds supply .....we
can damn well charge what we like
- Which we certainly will .....say £5 an hour for a starters
- And in the event motorists stay away..... screaming shopkeepers will be up in arms and
therefore more than happy to subsidise any reduction we then introduce to our parking
fees ........desperate to see their precious customers return
- A win-win situation
- Yes.....because it is a racing cert that this Bill will not include any provisions concerning
pricing policies or prescribed tariffs
- Praise the Lord for that
A hurriedly convened meeting of the rogue cowboys took place at The Ritz in London as worried executives were now having to face up to the reality of having a multitude of legal restrictions placed upon their highly suspect business activities
- That tosser Greg Knight ought to be shot
- Too bloody right......what the hell is he doing intoducing this Parking Bill ? Hasn'y he got
any feelings for us ? This Bill could put an end to the numerous scams we've getting away
with for years.
- How many scams might be under threat of being scuppered ?
- About two dozen were mentioned in the debate
- About half the number we currently operating at the moment
- My God this is a disaster
- Greg reckons this Bill will mark the beginning of the end of these parasites......by which
of course he means us
- The bastard
- And what's worse he wants the contract motorists enter into with us to be reasonable
- Ahhhh ......that's awful
- Transparent
- Ahhhh ......that's obscene
- Involving a consistent process,,,, with poor signage, unresonable terms , exorbitant
parking charges, aggressive demands for payment....all to be consigned to the past
- Ahhhh.......what god damn planet is this man on
- Yes....I too feel your acute pain...... but all is not lost
- Why's that ?
- We have a valuable commodity........land.......land which is in short supply.....land which is
ideally located and desperately sought after by motorists who cannot find enough parking
spaces on the street . In short we have a captive market which enables us to exploit
motorists to the full
- Yes......I see where you're coming from.......since demand greatly exceeds supply .....we
can damn well charge what we like
- Which we certainly will .....say £5 an hour for a starters
- And in the event motorists stay away..... screaming shopkeepers will be up in arms and
therefore more than happy to subsidise any reduction we then introduce to our parking
fees ........desperate to see their precious customers return
- A win-win situation
- Yes.....because it is a racing cert that this Bill will not include any provisions concerning
pricing policies or prescribed tariffs
- Praise the Lord for that
Tuesday, 27 February 2018
SMART ARSE PARKING SOLUTIONS COME UP WITH THE ULTIMATE SCAM.........( as revealed by this covert recording of their recent board meeting )
- What's the profit forecast for the current financial year ?
- Beyond our expectations. We're making money hand over fist
- Great news.....there's nothing so pleasing as conning motorists out of their hard earned
cash .Mind you....we still need to seek out new avenues to catch out more of these suckers
than ever before
- I agree......complacency in business is a sin. Not as big as the sins we're committing in
extorting money from the old, weak, stupid and vulnerable ass-holes who have no where
else to park......other than visit our conveniently located sites......but a sin nevertheless
- So any ideas then ?
- Yes....I've got one that could prove to be an absolute gold mine
- Please tell all
- Well....it would enable us to issue a PCN against every motorist foolishly choosing to
park up at one of our sites
- No way....
- Yes..... in every way......my idea is so simple it's both beautiful and sublime. You see our
signage gives the motorist scope to exit the car park early.......without penalty. That
practice has to be stopped in its tracks. At present we have a tariff system which quotes
different parking fees for " up to " 2 hours , 4 hours and so on.....
- But that's standard practice
- Not anymore it isn't. We should drop the wording " up to " creating a situation where the
motorist agrees to park up say for 2 hours......not a minute before or a minute after.
" 2 hours " means exactly that..... 2 hours. This is the time the motorist has contractually
committed himself to stay. By not adhering to the intended length of stay he himself chose
we can shaft him...... and all those other motorists who under-stay as well as those who
overstay. No one therefore can escape a PCN..... except for those lucky bastards who
miraculously leave on the agreed dot
- Brilliant....but wont motorists see this as the scam of all scams
- Are you kidding......they will pay up because that's what they do.....anything to escape
the hassle and torment resulting from futile resistance against a torrent of evil threats ,
nasty bullying and extreme intimidation. We're onto a guaranteed winner here....
- I agree entirely
- Let's bring it on then
- With malice aforethought
- Of course....that's always taken for granted
- What's the profit forecast for the current financial year ?
- Beyond our expectations. We're making money hand over fist
- Great news.....there's nothing so pleasing as conning motorists out of their hard earned
cash .Mind you....we still need to seek out new avenues to catch out more of these suckers
than ever before
- I agree......complacency in business is a sin. Not as big as the sins we're committing in
extorting money from the old, weak, stupid and vulnerable ass-holes who have no where
else to park......other than visit our conveniently located sites......but a sin nevertheless
- So any ideas then ?
- Yes....I've got one that could prove to be an absolute gold mine
- Please tell all
- Well....it would enable us to issue a PCN against every motorist foolishly choosing to
park up at one of our sites
- No way....
- Yes..... in every way......my idea is so simple it's both beautiful and sublime. You see our
signage gives the motorist scope to exit the car park early.......without penalty. That
practice has to be stopped in its tracks. At present we have a tariff system which quotes
different parking fees for " up to " 2 hours , 4 hours and so on.....
- But that's standard practice
- Not anymore it isn't. We should drop the wording " up to " creating a situation where the
motorist agrees to park up say for 2 hours......not a minute before or a minute after.
" 2 hours " means exactly that..... 2 hours. This is the time the motorist has contractually
committed himself to stay. By not adhering to the intended length of stay he himself chose
we can shaft him...... and all those other motorists who under-stay as well as those who
overstay. No one therefore can escape a PCN..... except for those lucky bastards who
miraculously leave on the agreed dot
- Brilliant....but wont motorists see this as the scam of all scams
- Are you kidding......they will pay up because that's what they do.....anything to escape
the hassle and torment resulting from futile resistance against a torrent of evil threats ,
nasty bullying and extreme intimidation. We're onto a guaranteed winner here....
- I agree entirely
- Let's bring it on then
- With malice aforethought
- Of course....that's always taken for granted
Saturday, 24 February 2018
RIP OFF PARKING CHARGES : COMPANY'S BUSINESS MODEL EXPOSED AS A TRIBUTE TO THE KRAYS
Finally....a long-awaited tip-off led to an undercover BBC researcher infiltrating the headquarters of Rip Off Parking Solutions only to find the minutes of a secret meeting , in which the directors discussed the basic concepts needed to be embodied in the company's new business model.
These concepts were inspired by, and based upon , Ronnie and Reggie Kray's highly lucrative protection racket , which operated in London during the swinging 1960's. The key elements therefore in the proposed business model ran along the following lines :
1. Force motorists to enter into an agreement which is onerous in the extreme , and one
which will prove incredibly difficult to honour
2. Demand money from motorists for defaulting on the agreement no matter how trivial the
transgression happens to be
3. Offer a reduction on the over-the-top parking charge for prompt payment
4. In the likely event of motorists refusing to pay straightaway increase the debt on a
repeated basis by imposing extortionate claims for bogus administration and legal
expenses
5. Once the accumulated debt reaches four figures move the process of relentless
threats with menaces onto a much higher level. The longer the motorist resists in
coughing up the money the more it becomes necessary to make his life a living hell
6. Finally , send in the heavy mob to collect the debt in person , using whatever strong-
arm tactics seem appropriate in order to achieve the desired result
So welcome to the world of modern day racketeering .....where the spirits of these two notorious gangsters live on .
Finally....a long-awaited tip-off led to an undercover BBC researcher infiltrating the headquarters of Rip Off Parking Solutions only to find the minutes of a secret meeting , in which the directors discussed the basic concepts needed to be embodied in the company's new business model.
These concepts were inspired by, and based upon , Ronnie and Reggie Kray's highly lucrative protection racket , which operated in London during the swinging 1960's. The key elements therefore in the proposed business model ran along the following lines :
1. Force motorists to enter into an agreement which is onerous in the extreme , and one
which will prove incredibly difficult to honour
2. Demand money from motorists for defaulting on the agreement no matter how trivial the
transgression happens to be
3. Offer a reduction on the over-the-top parking charge for prompt payment
4. In the likely event of motorists refusing to pay straightaway increase the debt on a
repeated basis by imposing extortionate claims for bogus administration and legal
expenses
5. Once the accumulated debt reaches four figures move the process of relentless
threats with menaces onto a much higher level. The longer the motorist resists in
coughing up the money the more it becomes necessary to make his life a living hell
6. Finally , send in the heavy mob to collect the debt in person , using whatever strong-
arm tactics seem appropriate in order to achieve the desired result
So welcome to the world of modern day racketeering .....where the spirits of these two notorious gangsters live on .
Sunday, 18 February 2018
SMART ARSE PARKING SOLUTIONS v. BIGOT-JOHNSON (2018)
Bigot decided he too could play the role of a smart arse and so decided to have a bit of fun at their expense . The inevitable conclusion to a long running dispute ended up in court with Bigot ready and prepared to expose yet another parking bully to ridicule and shame .
Counsel for the plaintiff (CP) : Is it true you parked your car without ever paying for a valid ticket ?
B-J : Not true.....
CP : Oh come now.....we have camera evidence of your car ....very slowly.... entering the site..... and then leaving several hours later......but no evidence of you ever buying a ticket
B-J : Of course I didn't buy a ticket.....what I brought onto the site was a fibre glass pedal-powered replica of a 1960's bubble car
CP : So you admit to parking up a car without paying.....taking up a valuable space which could have been taken by a paying motorist........depriving the company of potential revenue
B-J : The car park as always was near empty .......such is growing number of motorists vowing never to park there. The sheer extent of public outcry over the company's vile and pernicious behaviour Smart Arse Parking is now synonymous with " scumbags ". No revenue lost there. Moreover , the contraption I arrived in was nothing more than an over-dressed cycle.....which had the external appearance of a car but nothing else.Your terms and conditions only applied to car drivers ......which means of course they didn't apply to me.
CP : But it was a 4 wheeled vehicle with a driver inside .....and that in my book fits the description of a car
B-J : I'm afraid not.....you're reading from the wrong book . The contraption was a cycle. It was not powered by petrol, diesel or battery. There was no reverse gear. It had handlebar steering. There was no legal requirement to take out insurance. Moreover there was no legal requirement to have a MOT certificate or pay road tax.
CP : Your dead right on that last point. Finding out who was the owner proved very difficult indeed.....with there being no damn records of your vehicle registration number on the DVLA data base...... so Smart Arse Parking had to spend a small fortune hiring private detectives to track you down......money which we aim to recover in full.... here in this court
Judge : No chance of that........Bigot entered the car park on a cycle.........which according to your signage did not warrant any payment for parking there.
CP : But he used up one the parking bays
Judge : Well that act may constitute trespass but your case is about breach of contract and therefore I have no choice but to throw out your claim.
CP : Your Honour.....we have been shafted here by a very wicked and cunning man
Judge : Well that makes a refreshing change given the thousands of motorists shafted by your client's devious tricks and unethical practices. In fact when it comes to lack of morality Smart Arse Parking are right up there on top of the monkey tree.
CP : Oh dear.....when I report back to company's directors they are going to go ballistic
B-J : Don't you mean ape-shit...?
Judge : Nice one Bigot..
:
Bigot decided he too could play the role of a smart arse and so decided to have a bit of fun at their expense . The inevitable conclusion to a long running dispute ended up in court with Bigot ready and prepared to expose yet another parking bully to ridicule and shame .
Counsel for the plaintiff (CP) : Is it true you parked your car without ever paying for a valid ticket ?
B-J : Not true.....
CP : Oh come now.....we have camera evidence of your car ....very slowly.... entering the site..... and then leaving several hours later......but no evidence of you ever buying a ticket
B-J : Of course I didn't buy a ticket.....what I brought onto the site was a fibre glass pedal-powered replica of a 1960's bubble car
CP : So you admit to parking up a car without paying.....taking up a valuable space which could have been taken by a paying motorist........depriving the company of potential revenue
B-J : The car park as always was near empty .......such is growing number of motorists vowing never to park there. The sheer extent of public outcry over the company's vile and pernicious behaviour Smart Arse Parking is now synonymous with " scumbags ". No revenue lost there. Moreover , the contraption I arrived in was nothing more than an over-dressed cycle.....which had the external appearance of a car but nothing else.Your terms and conditions only applied to car drivers ......which means of course they didn't apply to me.
CP : But it was a 4 wheeled vehicle with a driver inside .....and that in my book fits the description of a car
B-J : I'm afraid not.....you're reading from the wrong book . The contraption was a cycle. It was not powered by petrol, diesel or battery. There was no reverse gear. It had handlebar steering. There was no legal requirement to take out insurance. Moreover there was no legal requirement to have a MOT certificate or pay road tax.
CP : Your dead right on that last point. Finding out who was the owner proved very difficult indeed.....with there being no damn records of your vehicle registration number on the DVLA data base...... so Smart Arse Parking had to spend a small fortune hiring private detectives to track you down......money which we aim to recover in full.... here in this court
Judge : No chance of that........Bigot entered the car park on a cycle.........which according to your signage did not warrant any payment for parking there.
CP : But he used up one the parking bays
Judge : Well that act may constitute trespass but your case is about breach of contract and therefore I have no choice but to throw out your claim.
CP : Your Honour.....we have been shafted here by a very wicked and cunning man
Judge : Well that makes a refreshing change given the thousands of motorists shafted by your client's devious tricks and unethical practices. In fact when it comes to lack of morality Smart Arse Parking are right up there on top of the monkey tree.
CP : Oh dear.....when I report back to company's directors they are going to go ballistic
B-J : Don't you mean ape-shit...?
Judge : Nice one Bigot..
:
RIP OFF PARKING v. BENNETT ( DECEASED) 2018
Yet another unbelievable act of obscene victimisation of the old and vulnerable by a company renown for its complete lack of moral and ethical values. Bigot-Johnson , a close family friend , put himself forward to defend the case on the their behalf.
Counsel for the plaintiff : Mrs. Bennett has refused to pay the £100 PCN issued against the driver of the car failing to purchase a ticket
B-J : Might I point out your Honour.....the actual driver happened to be the elderly Mr. Bennett, who unfortunately died at his wheel of his car..... just seconds after arriving and parking up in an available bay. It wasn't until another motorist noticed his body slumped over the steering wheel that an ambulance was eventually called to the scene. Needless to say that vehicle also picked up a PCN for failing to purchase a ticket.
CP: The terms and conditions clearly state......that it was a pay and display car park which required drivers to purchase a ticket and display it face up on the dashboard
BJ : But.... Mrs. Bennett was not the one who drove the vehicle into the car park.
CP : Ah......not so fast Bigot.... you see she too became a driver...... by virtue of the fact she collected the car and drove it away.
B-J : What is it with you parking companies that don't allow death to be a valid reason to get a PCN cancelled ? Whatever next ? Has the company no compassion at all ?
CP : None.....absolutely none......because as you know all too well..... private parking companies are solely concerned with making easy money and big profits.. This of course can only be done by applying the rules in the strictest possible way. No exceptions allowed.
Judge : No mercy shown then ?
CP : No......never.....and why the hell should there be ? If motorists contravene the rules they have to pay the price.
Judge : My sentiments entirely.....which is why I'm showing Rip Off Parking no mercy whatsoever. Their case is dismissed with all costs are to be borne by the company , plus of course another £2000 to be paid to the defendant for the psychological and emotional stress she has been put under as a result of this evil ,vindictive claim. That's the price the company will have to pay for being total and utter bastards.
B-J : Might I point out your Honour.....the actual driver happened to be the elderly Mr. Bennett, who unfortunately died at his wheel of his car..... just seconds after arriving and parking up in an available bay. It wasn't until another motorist noticed his body slumped over the steering wheel that an ambulance was eventually called to the scene. Needless to say that vehicle also picked up a PCN for failing to purchase a ticket.
CP: The terms and conditions clearly state......that it was a pay and display car park which required drivers to purchase a ticket and display it face up on the dashboard
BJ : But.... Mrs. Bennett was not the one who drove the vehicle into the car park.
CP : Ah......not so fast Bigot.... you see she too became a driver...... by virtue of the fact she collected the car and drove it away.
B-J : What is it with you parking companies that don't allow death to be a valid reason to get a PCN cancelled ? Whatever next ? Has the company no compassion at all ?
CP : None.....absolutely none......because as you know all too well..... private parking companies are solely concerned with making easy money and big profits.. This of course can only be done by applying the rules in the strictest possible way. No exceptions allowed.
Judge : No mercy shown then ?
CP : No......never.....and why the hell should there be ? If motorists contravene the rules they have to pay the price.
Judge : My sentiments entirely.....which is why I'm showing Rip Off Parking no mercy whatsoever. Their case is dismissed with all costs are to be borne by the company , plus of course another £2000 to be paid to the defendant for the psychological and emotional stress she has been put under as a result of this evil ,vindictive claim. That's the price the company will have to pay for being total and utter bastards.
Friday, 16 February 2018
PARKING EYE v BEAVIS : WHAT WAS THE TRUE PURPOSE OF THE £85 PARKING CHARGE ?
Answer : Profit .......nothing but profit
What the Supreme Court judges failed to grasp was that the £85 parking charge had very little to do with any traffic space maximisation objective , or the urgent need for a deterrent to stop motorists from overstaying, it was all about making easy money.
If say Parking Eye paid the supermarket £30,000 for the right to manage the car park in which motorists were entitled to stay for up to 3 hours , one would wonder about such a business arrangement. If all motorists dutifully left within the permitted time. Parking Eye would be operating at a loss given the initial outlay plus other operational costs.
Not in a million years. This arrangement is a real money spinner.
Let's say the car park has 300 bays , which each on a busy day might see 5 different drivers over a 10 hour period. This adds up to 1500 drivers using the car park every day. So excluding Sundays the weekly total of drivers is as least 9000. In a fifty week year the initial investment for ownership rights works out at £600 a week , which requires only 7 drivers with poor time-keeping habits , forking out £85 each to allow the company to break even. Now if weekly operational costs of around £2,000 are to be taken into account , the break even point to cover the total weekly costs (£2,600 ) would be around 30 defaulting drivers. This as a % of 9000 drivers is 0.33 , just one motorist in every 300.
Therefore , if a far more realistic % applies, like 2.5% of drivers overstaying ( 1 in 40) , that adds up to 225 PCNs being issued every week , of which 195 represent generate pure profit. This figure works out to a colossal £16,575 weekly profit , when parking charges stand at £85. So when it is more likely the offer of a £50 charge for prompt payment is accepted , weekly profit is still a substantial £10,000. This generates a yearly total profit of £500,000 : more than enough to take hundreds of drivers to court . A necessary requirement if parking Eye wants to intensify the fear factor on those initially reluctant to pay.
So for the judges to think that Parking Eye's operation was focused on traffic space maximisation then how wrong could they be. For a start , the motorists who under-stayed (97.5%) ...... why they create 1000's of available spaces to accommodate additional motorists . The total time saved by the under-stayers completely dwarfs the total time stolen by the over-stayers. In my opinion there was no traffic flow problem in the first place .....and certainly not of a nature which warranted a hefty deterrent parking charge of £85. Indeed , this profit-generating lump sum fine was clearly punitive and manifestly unreasonable. Why should the few be made to subsidise the majority who park for free ? It seems all wrong.
If the supermarket wants £30,000 perhaps it should tell Parking Eye to go and stuff themselves , asking instead the 450,000 customers they get each year to pay 10p on entry.
Heavens above....... this would actually earn them £45,000.
Welcome to the theatre of the absurd.
Answer : Profit .......nothing but profit
What the Supreme Court judges failed to grasp was that the £85 parking charge had very little to do with any traffic space maximisation objective , or the urgent need for a deterrent to stop motorists from overstaying, it was all about making easy money.
If say Parking Eye paid the supermarket £30,000 for the right to manage the car park in which motorists were entitled to stay for up to 3 hours , one would wonder about such a business arrangement. If all motorists dutifully left within the permitted time. Parking Eye would be operating at a loss given the initial outlay plus other operational costs.
Not in a million years. This arrangement is a real money spinner.
Let's say the car park has 300 bays , which each on a busy day might see 5 different drivers over a 10 hour period. This adds up to 1500 drivers using the car park every day. So excluding Sundays the weekly total of drivers is as least 9000. In a fifty week year the initial investment for ownership rights works out at £600 a week , which requires only 7 drivers with poor time-keeping habits , forking out £85 each to allow the company to break even. Now if weekly operational costs of around £2,000 are to be taken into account , the break even point to cover the total weekly costs (£2,600 ) would be around 30 defaulting drivers. This as a % of 9000 drivers is 0.33 , just one motorist in every 300.
Therefore , if a far more realistic % applies, like 2.5% of drivers overstaying ( 1 in 40) , that adds up to 225 PCNs being issued every week , of which 195 represent generate pure profit. This figure works out to a colossal £16,575 weekly profit , when parking charges stand at £85. So when it is more likely the offer of a £50 charge for prompt payment is accepted , weekly profit is still a substantial £10,000. This generates a yearly total profit of £500,000 : more than enough to take hundreds of drivers to court . A necessary requirement if parking Eye wants to intensify the fear factor on those initially reluctant to pay.
So for the judges to think that Parking Eye's operation was focused on traffic space maximisation then how wrong could they be. For a start , the motorists who under-stayed (97.5%) ...... why they create 1000's of available spaces to accommodate additional motorists . The total time saved by the under-stayers completely dwarfs the total time stolen by the over-stayers. In my opinion there was no traffic flow problem in the first place .....and certainly not of a nature which warranted a hefty deterrent parking charge of £85. Indeed , this profit-generating lump sum fine was clearly punitive and manifestly unreasonable. Why should the few be made to subsidise the majority who park for free ? It seems all wrong.
If the supermarket wants £30,000 perhaps it should tell Parking Eye to go and stuff themselves , asking instead the 450,000 customers they get each year to pay 10p on entry.
Heavens above....... this would actually earn them £45,000.
Welcome to the theatre of the absurd.
Wednesday, 14 February 2018
SMART ARSE PARKING SOLUTIONS v. BIGOT-JOHNSON (2018)
Once again Bigot was not prepared fall into the trap of paying a £100 parking charge for such a trivial transgression . Here was another car parking company. Another minor overstay. Another day in court to assert his dominance over these corporate gangsters.
Judge : Where's the counsel representing Smart Arse Parking ?
B-J : God knows
Judge : Well , if he's not here in the five minutes , I shall be obliged to kick out the claim and award the decision to the defendant by default
B-J : Yippee
( But just then a panting and puffing counsel rushes into the courtroom looked incredibly harassed and stressed )
Judge : You're late
CP : So sorry ...your Honour.....I was unavoidably delayed.......got caught up in a huge traffic jam due to an accident
Judge : So what is your case against the defendant ? CP : Overstaying by 12 minutes
B-J : Yes, that's true.....but I was late back to my car because I had been helping the police with an eye-witness statement following a mugging yards from where I was standing
CP : No excuses please ! This company has heard them all. Smart Arse Parking is not prepared to listen to pathetic excuses for overstays. Christ Almighty....one Supreme Court judge correctly pointed out that all motorists needed to do was to wear a watch... and keep careful track of the time
Judge : So you are unwilling to allow convenient excuses to warrant the cancellation or reduction of a parking charge ?
CP : Absolutely
Judge : So please tell me counsel were you wearing a watch today and keeping track of time ?
CP : Yes I was.....but surely you understand that unforeseen events can thwart even the best laid plans. Life can be so unpredictable
Judge : True.....so when it comes to turning up late to court ......you would argue that there are legitimate reasons entitling you to be absolved from any penalty or punishment
CP : Oh indeed.......that's only fair and right
Judge : But arriving late back to a car park is inexcusable then ?
CP : Yes...of course
Judge : This hypocrisy is intolerable. Common sense must prevail. Bigot's overstay deserves understanding , sympathy and compassion. Smart Arse Parking's inflexible stance on this matter to impose a £100 charge is manifestly unreasonable. I therefore declare the charge to be an unenforceable penalty
CP : But what about the Beavis ruling ?
Judge : Sod that......the circumstances here are different......case dismissed
Once again Bigot was not prepared fall into the trap of paying a £100 parking charge for such a trivial transgression . Here was another car parking company. Another minor overstay. Another day in court to assert his dominance over these corporate gangsters.
Judge : Where's the counsel representing Smart Arse Parking ?
B-J : God knows
Judge : Well , if he's not here in the five minutes , I shall be obliged to kick out the claim and award the decision to the defendant by default
B-J : Yippee
( But just then a panting and puffing counsel rushes into the courtroom looked incredibly harassed and stressed )
Judge : You're late
CP : So sorry ...your Honour.....I was unavoidably delayed.......got caught up in a huge traffic jam due to an accident
Judge : So what is your case against the defendant ? CP : Overstaying by 12 minutes
B-J : Yes, that's true.....but I was late back to my car because I had been helping the police with an eye-witness statement following a mugging yards from where I was standing
CP : No excuses please ! This company has heard them all. Smart Arse Parking is not prepared to listen to pathetic excuses for overstays. Christ Almighty....one Supreme Court judge correctly pointed out that all motorists needed to do was to wear a watch... and keep careful track of the time
Judge : So you are unwilling to allow convenient excuses to warrant the cancellation or reduction of a parking charge ?
CP : Absolutely
Judge : So please tell me counsel were you wearing a watch today and keeping track of time ?
CP : Yes I was.....but surely you understand that unforeseen events can thwart even the best laid plans. Life can be so unpredictable
Judge : True.....so when it comes to turning up late to court ......you would argue that there are legitimate reasons entitling you to be absolved from any penalty or punishment
CP : Oh indeed.......that's only fair and right
Judge : But arriving late back to a car park is inexcusable then ?
CP : Yes...of course
Judge : This hypocrisy is intolerable. Common sense must prevail. Bigot's overstay deserves understanding , sympathy and compassion. Smart Arse Parking's inflexible stance on this matter to impose a £100 charge is manifestly unreasonable. I therefore declare the charge to be an unenforceable penalty
CP : But what about the Beavis ruling ?
Judge : Sod that......the circumstances here are different......case dismissed
PARKING FINES FOR OVERSTAYING ........AVOID THE RISK
Yes there's much less risk involved if you follow Bigot Johnson's sensible lead......but you must hold firm in the event of the relentless harassment, intimidation and threats from these scumbag , morally bankrupt operators.
This is how a court case , if a long running dispute ever goes that far , might well pan out.....
Counsel for the plaintiff : Bigot........you were issued a PCN for overstaying. Your 2 hour ticket ran out at 12.08 pm but our camera recorded your exit at 12.26 pm. This 16 minute overstay was a flagrant contravention of the terms and conditions you agreed to abide by. So please tell the court what you've got to say about that ?
B-J : Well......on realising I was late in returning to my car I thought it was both right and correct to purchase another 1 hour ticket. This took place at 12. 22 pm and I have the ticket to prove it here in my hand
Judge : What an honest and sensible man you are Bigot
B-J : Thank you ....your Honour.......I appreciate that comment
CP : Ah.....but for the time period 12.08 to 12.22 pm..... your car was parked up for 14 minutes without a valid ticket. This makes you liable for the full parking charge of £100 does it not ?
Judge : Might I intervene at this point counsel ?
CP : You may...
Judge : So please me what number of hours did Bigot pay in total ?
CP : 3 hours
Judge : And how long was his stay ?
CP : 2 hours and 16 minutes
Judge : Well . there you have it......no loss of income whatsoever.....therefore this ridiculous charge of £100 is clearly punitive in nature.....rendering it an unenforceable penalty. Case dismissed
CP : But...but....but
Judge : Don't but me counsel......or I'll have you back in court for contempt
Bigot : Wow.....that's the very word I have for anyone who represents these evil and vindictive scammers
Judge : Bigot......you and I are truly operating on the same wave length
Yes there's much less risk involved if you follow Bigot Johnson's sensible lead......but you must hold firm in the event of the relentless harassment, intimidation and threats from these scumbag , morally bankrupt operators.
This is how a court case , if a long running dispute ever goes that far , might well pan out.....
Counsel for the plaintiff : Bigot........you were issued a PCN for overstaying. Your 2 hour ticket ran out at 12.08 pm but our camera recorded your exit at 12.26 pm. This 16 minute overstay was a flagrant contravention of the terms and conditions you agreed to abide by. So please tell the court what you've got to say about that ?
B-J : Well......on realising I was late in returning to my car I thought it was both right and correct to purchase another 1 hour ticket. This took place at 12. 22 pm and I have the ticket to prove it here in my hand
Judge : What an honest and sensible man you are Bigot
B-J : Thank you ....your Honour.......I appreciate that comment
CP : Ah.....but for the time period 12.08 to 12.22 pm..... your car was parked up for 14 minutes without a valid ticket. This makes you liable for the full parking charge of £100 does it not ?
Judge : Might I intervene at this point counsel ?
CP : You may...
Judge : So please me what number of hours did Bigot pay in total ?
CP : 3 hours
Judge : And how long was his stay ?
CP : 2 hours and 16 minutes
Judge : Well . there you have it......no loss of income whatsoever.....therefore this ridiculous charge of £100 is clearly punitive in nature.....rendering it an unenforceable penalty. Case dismissed
CP : But...but....but
Judge : Don't but me counsel......or I'll have you back in court for contempt
Bigot : Wow.....that's the very word I have for anyone who represents these evil and vindictive scammers
Judge : Bigot......you and I are truly operating on the same wave length
Monday, 12 February 2018
RIP OFF PARKING'S TOP MAN TALKS TO AN UNDERCOVER BBC REPORTER
- Nice little business you run here
- Not half.....we make so much money it makes my eyes water
- I guess the market potential is huge
- It's massive..... given the fact its customer base is made up of stupid, spineless motorists
who we can fleece over and over again.... and of course with more people using cars to
go shopping at places where parking spaces are at a premium......the scene is set to cash
in on these suckers left, right and centre
- Like shoting fish in a barrel ?
- Exactly
- But surely customers matter ? Shouldn't meeting their needs be part of your company's
mission statement ?
- Bollocks to that......this type of customer is nothing more than a cash cow that needs to be
milked dry......or to put it another way........butchered
- Oh
- And yes...... customers are mentioned in the company's mission statement in that we
commit ourselves to treating them all equally and in the same way
- What way is that then ?
- We treat them all like shit
- Well I never
- If any of our terms and conditions are broken.....no matter what pathetic reasons
motorists come back with to have their parking charges cancelled or reduced ....
we set about them in a unforgiving, pernicious way......such is the nature of our
voracious policies......there no room in business for sentiment or compassion. We treat
them all the same whether they are alive or dead
- What....even when they are dead ?
- Absolutely ......just because a motorist dies at the wheel of his car seconds after parking
it up in a bay......the fact he fails to purchase a ticket still means we have a legitimate claim on his estate for that £150 outstanding parking charge
- So do all motorists pay up ?
- I should say so.......not many can withstand the relentless onslaught of harassing letters,
threats and intimidation ? Indeed.....the majority cave in straightaway.....despite the fact
we obviously go out of our way to trick , deceive and entrap them. Even those who refuse
to pay the fines straightaway eventually capitulate when we up the ante and threaten them
with bailiffs, CCJs and loss of their credit ratings.......but then of course we do encounter
a very small, stubborn, well-educated group of motorists , who are more than prepared
to fight their case in court
- So do any of them win ?
- Unfortunately yes.....but we can't afford bow down and accept that we're batting on a
losing wicked......Good Lord no......the company will keep on persevering with taking
motorists to court come what may.......because the fear factor our policy creates far far
outweighs any of the decisions that often go against us
- Clearly then .....your policy is akin to a war of attrition......which most motorists don't
want to engage in
- Brilliant isn't it....
- Well , thanks for that interview .......the recording of that will go out on Panaroma next
week
- You little sod
- Well, that's what happens when you upset the producer of the programme by issuing
an unwarranted PCN to his wife , who keyed in an "5" instead of a "S"
- Nice little business you run here
- Not half.....we make so much money it makes my eyes water
- I guess the market potential is huge
- It's massive..... given the fact its customer base is made up of stupid, spineless motorists
who we can fleece over and over again.... and of course with more people using cars to
go shopping at places where parking spaces are at a premium......the scene is set to cash
in on these suckers left, right and centre
- Like shoting fish in a barrel ?
- Exactly
- But surely customers matter ? Shouldn't meeting their needs be part of your company's
mission statement ?
- Bollocks to that......this type of customer is nothing more than a cash cow that needs to be
milked dry......or to put it another way........butchered
- Oh
- And yes...... customers are mentioned in the company's mission statement in that we
commit ourselves to treating them all equally and in the same way
- What way is that then ?
- We treat them all like shit
- Well I never
- If any of our terms and conditions are broken.....no matter what pathetic reasons
motorists come back with to have their parking charges cancelled or reduced ....
we set about them in a unforgiving, pernicious way......such is the nature of our
voracious policies......there no room in business for sentiment or compassion. We treat
them all the same whether they are alive or dead
- What....even when they are dead ?
- Absolutely ......just because a motorist dies at the wheel of his car seconds after parking
it up in a bay......the fact he fails to purchase a ticket still means we have a legitimate claim on his estate for that £150 outstanding parking charge
- So do all motorists pay up ?
- I should say so.......not many can withstand the relentless onslaught of harassing letters,
threats and intimidation ? Indeed.....the majority cave in straightaway.....despite the fact
we obviously go out of our way to trick , deceive and entrap them. Even those who refuse
to pay the fines straightaway eventually capitulate when we up the ante and threaten them
with bailiffs, CCJs and loss of their credit ratings.......but then of course we do encounter
a very small, stubborn, well-educated group of motorists , who are more than prepared
to fight their case in court
- So do any of them win ?
- Unfortunately yes.....but we can't afford bow down and accept that we're batting on a
losing wicked......Good Lord no......the company will keep on persevering with taking
motorists to court come what may.......because the fear factor our policy creates far far
outweighs any of the decisions that often go against us
- Clearly then .....your policy is akin to a war of attrition......which most motorists don't
want to engage in
- Brilliant isn't it....
- Well , thanks for that interview .......the recording of that will go out on Panaroma next
week
- You little sod
- Well, that's what happens when you upset the producer of the programme by issuing
an unwarranted PCN to his wife , who keyed in an "5" instead of a "S"
Saturday, 10 February 2018
PARKING FINES : BIGOT FINDS A LEGITIMATE WAY TO
AVOID GETTING PCNs
In many unmanned private car parks the camera is king. Vehicle registration plates are photographed on entry and exit , giving these parking cowboys countless opportunities to issue PCNs for overstaying and entering incorrect registration plate details. Yet despite this supposed foolproof technology , Bigot found the perfect riposte as highlighted in this following landmark case.
Smart Arse Parking Solutions v. Bigot-Johnson (2018)
Counsel for the plaintiff : We believe this man......the defendant .....entered the car in his metallic grey Toyota Corolla and left without paying. Unfortunately we have no photo records to prove this but by a fortunate co-incidence one of Smart Arse's employees was in a pub where Bigot was proudly boasting about his amazing coup
B-J : Show me the evidence that I used that car park on that day
CP : We do have photos of a car similar in colour and make to yours .....but unfortunately the vehicle registration plates were obscured from view by a pedestrian
B-J : Still no proof that is was my car in those photos
CP : No....however although the plates were not visible there was a woman of your age who walked just in front of the car on entry.......and just behind the vehicle on exit.
B-J : An amazing co-incidence
CP : Yes indeed....but my client strongly suspects it was you who was up to no good and foul play........and that your wife had a part to play in it
B-J : Well ...Smart Arse Parking knows all about foul play being the perpetrator of the lowest, meanest, most dastardly tricks known to mankind in entrapping motorists and then bullying them relentlessly..... until they submit into paying unfair and unwarranted PCNs
Judge : Well , as I see it suspicion alone is not evidence enough to establish Bigot as the
culprit involved. Moreover hearsay evidence of a confession is inadmissible too. Case dismissed.......and by the way Bigot..... how far from the car would a pedestrian have to be to interfere and block out the camera's view ?
B-J : Well....having no actual experience to draw upon....I would offer an opinion of around four to six feet
Judge : Useful information that......thank you very much indeed
CP : Your Honour.....motorists are not allowed to get away with such practices
Judge : Ah....but there's nothing in the company's on-site signage that states otherwise.
And in any case there is nothing in law which can forbid a random pedestrian or stranger to walk in front and behind slow moving vehicles in a car park. People milling about in car parks happens all the time. And freedom of movement is a sacred democratic right is it not ?
CP : Oh my God .....Smart Arse directors are going to be really pissed off by this outcome
Judge : I'm glad to hear it
B-J : Me too
AVOID GETTING PCNs
In many unmanned private car parks the camera is king. Vehicle registration plates are photographed on entry and exit , giving these parking cowboys countless opportunities to issue PCNs for overstaying and entering incorrect registration plate details. Yet despite this supposed foolproof technology , Bigot found the perfect riposte as highlighted in this following landmark case.
Smart Arse Parking Solutions v. Bigot-Johnson (2018)
Counsel for the plaintiff : We believe this man......the defendant .....entered the car in his metallic grey Toyota Corolla and left without paying. Unfortunately we have no photo records to prove this but by a fortunate co-incidence one of Smart Arse's employees was in a pub where Bigot was proudly boasting about his amazing coup
B-J : Show me the evidence that I used that car park on that day
CP : We do have photos of a car similar in colour and make to yours .....but unfortunately the vehicle registration plates were obscured from view by a pedestrian
B-J : Still no proof that is was my car in those photos
CP : No....however although the plates were not visible there was a woman of your age who walked just in front of the car on entry.......and just behind the vehicle on exit.
B-J : An amazing co-incidence
CP : Yes indeed....but my client strongly suspects it was you who was up to no good and foul play........and that your wife had a part to play in it
B-J : Well ...Smart Arse Parking knows all about foul play being the perpetrator of the lowest, meanest, most dastardly tricks known to mankind in entrapping motorists and then bullying them relentlessly..... until they submit into paying unfair and unwarranted PCNs
Judge : Well , as I see it suspicion alone is not evidence enough to establish Bigot as the
culprit involved. Moreover hearsay evidence of a confession is inadmissible too. Case dismissed.......and by the way Bigot..... how far from the car would a pedestrian have to be to interfere and block out the camera's view ?
B-J : Well....having no actual experience to draw upon....I would offer an opinion of around four to six feet
Judge : Useful information that......thank you very much indeed
CP : Your Honour.....motorists are not allowed to get away with such practices
Judge : Ah....but there's nothing in the company's on-site signage that states otherwise.
And in any case there is nothing in law which can forbid a random pedestrian or stranger to walk in front and behind slow moving vehicles in a car park. People milling about in car parks happens all the time. And freedom of movement is a sacred democratic right is it not ?
CP : Oh my God .....Smart Arse directors are going to be really pissed off by this outcome
Judge : I'm glad to hear it
B-J : Me too
EXCEL AT SCAMMING v. BIGOT-JOHNSON (2018)
This was the case which this notorious parking bully boy believed it could win. At long last Bigot would be defeated in court. Not only was he up for non-payment of a parking fee but also criminal damage to property.
Counsel for the plaintiff : Bigot......do you admit to failing to pay for one hour's parking and destroying one of Excel's highly sophisticated ticket machines
B-J : No....
CP : Well , the facts speak for themselves. The company received no monetary payment for the one hour stay, and we have dozens of photos depicting the carnage inflicted upon the ticket machine ......which I might add was left beyond repair
B-J : Ah well....the machine was clearly faulty because my first £1 coin got stuck in the slot.I tried to retrieve it by using a thin piece of wire but to no avail. So I telephoned the Excel's number to explain the difficulty I was in and to find out what my options were if any.
CP : Yes ?
B-J : I asked them if it was OK to have " another go " at retrieving my coin. I was told " yes, by all means ", which I took as blanket permission to use any other method that I saw fit.
CP : But setting about the ticket machine with a sledge hammer and other heavy duty tools , which you rather conveniently had in the back of your car was not what the company envisaged.
B-J : Permission was given with no restrictions in place. I think " by all means " says it all. They never enquired as to what means I might be employing. Drastic action called for drastic measures.
CP : I'm sorry but your actions amounted to criminal damage ........the like of which Excel has never seen in all its years of operation
B-J : My actions were the only means by which I could achieve my objective. Indeed , I successfully managed to retrieve my coin from the wreckage scattered about my feet. As to what happened to all the other coins strewn about the place I haven't a clue , but I do recall a huge queue of people with itchy fingers and big smiles ready to dive in as soon as I left the scene.
CP : Ah ......but there's still the matter of non-payment
B-J: Yes .......I intended to make a payment at the other ticket machine, which was at the opposite end of the car park. However , some other motorist had been inspired by what I was doing.....and had already set about that machine with a hefty crowbar and other implements of destruction. So you see ....payment was now impossible...... and as a consequence of that..... the possibility of forming a contract had gone completely.
Judge : I agree.....when performance.......ie payment.......was rendered impossible for lack of ticket machines in good working condition , it was obvious that acceptance of the offer could never take place. Therefore, in such circumstances neither party has any rights against the other. Case dismissed.
Friday, 9 February 2018
RIP OFF PARKING DIRECTORS CAUGHT YET AGAIN ON TAPE HAVING A JOLLY CONVERSATION ..........
- This racket we're operating is amazing
- Yeh.....it's a wonder the Krays didn't think of this first
- Legalised extortion is what they would call it
- I know.....so it's not surprising we're getting bad press reviews.....and motorists forums on
the internet slagging us off big time
- Our company reputation and public image is shit......but who cares so long as the money
keeps rolling in
- Yes....and even though thousands of motorists get caught out each week vowing
never to return to any of our sites.......there are tens of thousands more ready and
willing to take their place
- Yes....treating our motoring customers like scumbags doesn't impact badly at all on our
business turnover. We're still making money hand over fist.
- Indeed, motorists ......thank God.....are ignorant gullible sapheads.......nothing more than
a load of mugs, dipsticks, dopes, soft touches, easy prey.....error-prone fools who find
it impossible to keep time ..... and key in their car registration plates correctly
- I know.....I've been done myself parking up at an Excel car park....but a quick phone call
to their top man explaining who I was immediately resulted with an instant apology and
the cancellation of the PCN
- Quite right......the brotherhood has to stand together shoulder to shoulder
- It's so important that all the private car parking companies work together to ensure that
the law doesn't change in favour of the motorist. That would be an utter disaster. But
thankfully we have the funds now to lobby and persuade MPs into thwarting or watering
down any intended legislation that could undermine our hugely successful business
model. The power of money eh ?
- Yes......as it stands we're also winning the battle to convince more and more retail parks
to let us in to find desperately needed solutions to resolve their traffic flow problems. The
fact there were never any problems in the first place seems irrelevant. Giving them a
financial sweetener will always do the trick. Once in ....motorists' will then find their
goose is well and truly cooked, while we of course snap up the golden eggs
- But surely some of these supermarkets will suffer a drop in customer turnover if a
growing number of motorists fail to return ?
- Very unlikely.....because as I said before .....there are hundreds more motorists who are
willing to their place...... given that demand for available parking spaces will always
exceed supply. We are in a perfect win-win situation.
- Well if that is the case why not screw the motorists even more by upping the PCN charge
to £150........we can commercially justify it on the grounds that we have to employ far
more admin staff to help process and chase up the ever-increasing number of PCNs
we issue each week
- Why not indeed
- Is there any champagne left?
- This racket we're operating is amazing
- Yeh.....it's a wonder the Krays didn't think of this first
- Legalised extortion is what they would call it
- I know.....so it's not surprising we're getting bad press reviews.....and motorists forums on
the internet slagging us off big time
- Our company reputation and public image is shit......but who cares so long as the money
keeps rolling in
- Yes....and even though thousands of motorists get caught out each week vowing
never to return to any of our sites.......there are tens of thousands more ready and
willing to take their place
- Yes....treating our motoring customers like scumbags doesn't impact badly at all on our
business turnover. We're still making money hand over fist.
- Indeed, motorists ......thank God.....are ignorant gullible sapheads.......nothing more than
a load of mugs, dipsticks, dopes, soft touches, easy prey.....error-prone fools who find
it impossible to keep time ..... and key in their car registration plates correctly
- I know.....I've been done myself parking up at an Excel car park....but a quick phone call
to their top man explaining who I was immediately resulted with an instant apology and
the cancellation of the PCN
- Quite right......the brotherhood has to stand together shoulder to shoulder
- It's so important that all the private car parking companies work together to ensure that
the law doesn't change in favour of the motorist. That would be an utter disaster. But
thankfully we have the funds now to lobby and persuade MPs into thwarting or watering
down any intended legislation that could undermine our hugely successful business
model. The power of money eh ?
- Yes......as it stands we're also winning the battle to convince more and more retail parks
to let us in to find desperately needed solutions to resolve their traffic flow problems. The
fact there were never any problems in the first place seems irrelevant. Giving them a
financial sweetener will always do the trick. Once in ....motorists' will then find their
goose is well and truly cooked, while we of course snap up the golden eggs
- But surely some of these supermarkets will suffer a drop in customer turnover if a
growing number of motorists fail to return ?
- Very unlikely.....because as I said before .....there are hundreds more motorists who are
willing to their place...... given that demand for available parking spaces will always
exceed supply. We are in a perfect win-win situation.
- Well if that is the case why not screw the motorists even more by upping the PCN charge
to £150........we can commercially justify it on the grounds that we have to employ far
more admin staff to help process and chase up the ever-increasing number of PCNs
we issue each week
- Why not indeed
- Is there any champagne left?
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