THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY...........................................................

• shape : something you once had before you took up bridge
• bottom: part of your partner's anatomy which you often kick when he is responsible for a zero score
• control : players tend to lose this, when results start going from bad to worse
• card : a player who sees himself as a joker, looking to play tricks....but never capable of making any
• negative response : what a frisky player gets when his bold and amorous bid is rejected out of hand
• ditch : usually associated with an unwanted card, but it applies more to an unwanted partner and where best to dump his body
• losing trick count : an estimate made during an auction of what tricks you think might be lost, but if as declarer you end up losing more ....and it was partner's bids that were in error ...let him know it's time for him to do his losing teeth count
• relay bid : one that passes the buck ( or is it baton? ) onto the other player to actually bid a proper suit