THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY.....................................................................

• Jump bid : direct request for bed-time frolics
• Rule of 11: no substitutes allowed
• Laydown : what one needs to do to calm down after witnessing partner go off in one
• Protection : as aspect of the game some players tend to ignore
• Rubber : players' preferred choice, especially if concerned about protection
• Entry problem : a serious condition affecting only male members who engage in binge drinking
• MUD : a glorious signalling method ( nothing quite like it, infact ) that tells partner that you have "sod" all in that suit
• End play : opposite of foreplay
• Rank : (Adjective) used to describle the smell than emanates from the seat vacated by a elderly player with a weak bladder
• Throw-in : a term which originated in the late 1930's when a hapless player ( an ex-boxer ) found himself well and truly end-played. He decided at that point to throw-in the proverbial towel, and quit the game for good
• 4th highest : the smallest player at the table