OPENING YOUR MOUTH AND PUTTING YOUR FOOT IN IT.......................(Article by Pun )

Bridge players tend to be so focussed on the game, they tend to say things without ever realising what faux pas they have just committed. Without intent or malice, they constantly blurt out insensitive and hurtful remarks about others...almost as a matter of habit. It would not be surprising therefore for a bridge player while in conversation with another club member, who only has one leg, to quite innocently make a stack of inappropriate references such as: Long John Silver, Peg-leg Pete, Hopalong Cassidy, the Hokey Cokey......and so on. Indeed, not so long ago I overheard a conversation betwen two such members, where the two-legged one really excelled at the art of making faux pas. In the space of 5 minutes he came out with the following remarks:

• No need to get hopping mad.....
• There's just one more leg to go in this competition....
• It's your turn to foot the bill.....
• If you have another drink, you'll end up legless....
• I'm sorry if my bidding put you out on a limb.....
• I don't want our partnership to get off on the wrong foot....
• We both need to put our best foot forward.....
• So you much prefer weak jump overcalls...
• If you appeal against this TD's ruling, you won't have a leg to stand on.....
• When you get to my age, you know you've got one foot in the grave..

Some clinical psycholgists believe that the ability to make faux pas stems from the fact that players' brains become fully absorbed with bridge-related matters......to the exclusion of everything else. Therefore the part of the brain, which is responsible for the functioning of empathy, social etiquette and awareness, is temporarily disabled. Inevitably, the all consuming passion for bridge compells players to continually drop these verbal clangers......to the dismay and disbelief of those adversely affected. Mind you, I did hear of one enterprising bridge club that sold from behind the bar a licenced drug called "inhibitron" . This achieved a fair degree of success in that users began to speak very slowly, but more importantly to mumble and slur their words. Even if anyone had the patience to listen, it was impossible to grasp what was being said.