BRIDGE CLUB DISCIPLINARY SUB-COMMITTEE HEARING No.74....

Bigot-Johnson ( who else ) was brought before the committee for a second time in the month, to explain his highly unethical 2NT overcall. The repeated use of this unlicenced bid was in direct defiance of a ban imposed upon him weeks earlier for the same offence . An extract from the hearing appears below:

• Committe chairman (CC) : Could you please recall for the benefit of all those present the expanation you offered the opponents when they enquired about the meaning of your 2NT overcall?
• B-J: I certainly can. There are 4 possibilities after the opponents have opened the bidding 1NT. Firstly, it doesn't promise two long suits.....only one, which you are happy to play in at any level, irrespective of the vulnerability. Partner is obliged to bid 3C if weak, for me to either bid my suit or pass. If he can envisage game he bids 3D and awaits developments. A second possibility is that you have forgotten your defence to 1NT, but you are showing a two suited hand which includes a major, unable of course to identify even one of your 5 card suits. Partner is obliged to bid 3H ( if he has at least 3 in each major ) or bid 4C if looking for the minor suit fit. The third one shows a good hand worthy of 7 to 8 easy tricks, but with a gaping hole somewhere, which you hope partner can plug. Three spades from partner says I can cover one of the black suits, while a 3NT response says I can cover one of the red suits. All this guarantees you to be playing the final 3NT contract. Well, I mean you had Bechkam in your team, wouldn't you always want him to take the free kicks ? The 4th possibility is when none of the first three apply, so it caters for hands where a double is inappropriate and you are at a complete loss as to what to bid. In such circumstances you are wanting partner to pass or bid 3NT as the mood suits him. Although this situation doesn't always produce superb results at the table, it is highly effective in generating heated post mortems....where the real fun of playing bridge is experienced.
• CC : "I have never heard come across a more ludicrous, outrageous and unconventional convention. To even consider using such a preposterous bid is bad enough, but to do so when it was already under a ban beggars belief. This club and its members won't stand for it.....
• B-J : True most will be sitting down at the time...
• CC : Bigot-Johnson... it is my opinion that some of your bidding mechanisms belong in the world of fantasy, designed to turn auctions into a farce belonging to the theatre of the absurd.
• B-J : Shame on you....I am a man who is keen to develop a highly destructive, but highly effective and intelligent bidding system. This bid of mine ( like the 3-way muti 2D bid) is a product of imagination and genius. In fact, I could fill my convention card with dozens more. But I need to experiment, and where better than in the rabbit fields of the Cardinals BC.
• CC : Not so...you either get this damn bid of yours licenced....not a cat in hell's chance....or why not spring it as a surprise on those simple folk that play their bridge at the Walnut Tree Allotment BC, where they probably don't even know what an Orange Book is. As a punishment from contravening the ban, you will be obliged for the next 6 months to play off the club's simple system card, using no other conventions other than those listed.
• B-J: ......Bugger........