NEIL PECK STANDS IN FOR DR. JOHN............................ Hello there. Well, I have been asked to stand in for Dr. John, while he is away looking for fairies at the bottom of his garden. ( Stress can manifest itself in so many ways ). As his new assistant I have been given the task of researching into a rather unusual and disturbing affliction, which seems to have taken hold in the bridge world in quite a big way. Labelled The Perseveration Syndrome, it is another peculiar variant of turrets syndrome. This particular disorder tends to affect aspiring but self-deluded players, who over-night perceive themselves to be the resident experts in their club. What makes their condition so perplexing is that the sufferers firstly develop a heightened ability to tune into other players' bridge conversations....distance being no barrier whatsoever. Secondly, they develop an irresistible urge to interrupt the discussion with a rather loud " Excuse me ! " Then, having gained an uninvited entry into the discussion, they proceed for several minutes to put their audience right on all matters, concerning bidding, declarer play and defence. The perseveration syndrome once kick started quickly moves onto a higher level, where the compulsion to interrrupt becomes so overwhelming....it becomes unstoppable. Indeed, every private conversation will fall victim to an " Excuse me " and some stage or another. Sufferers cannot stop themselves jumping out of their seats, or flying across rooms, in a frantic attempt to gain new audiences. They mistakenly believe that their expertise and wisdom is urgently sought after ....being of real substance and value. Originally, it was recorded as a very rare condition, being quantified at around 1 case in every 20,000. However, today thousands of clubs find themselves over-run with dozens of self-appointed experts. Consequently, the competition for the status of being number one has brought on mini-epidemics of this rather unpleasant syndrome. The tragic outcome of all this is that after one "excuse me" rears its ugly head.......countless others follow......as discussions descend into a cacophony of "excuse me's" that can go on for hours.