THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY................................

• Bottom : the part of your partner's anatomy, on which the imprint of your boot can usually be found
• Bridgemate : a fellow blogger who actually likes your articles
• Committee : a group of power-hungry members who, on a tidal wave of apathy, are able to elect each other ( unopposed ) to run the club for the benefit of themselves.... and possibly one or two of the hangers-on
• Short suit : a term which refers to the appalling dress sense of male club members, who often turn up with trousers barely reaching their ankles, and jacket sleeves riding well up to their elbows
• Unbalanced : the state of mind most bridge players possess if one is to believe the research findings outlined by Dr. John
• Deck : what your head hits first after receiving a hefty blow from your partner, who is far from pleased with your abject bidding and declarer play
• Length : the measurement partner takes of you, to make sure that the coffin he is planning to put you in is suitably long enough
• Void : the empty space inside a bridge player's head, where one would expect to find a brain