Nothing bugs me more than really slow players, especially when they partner me. Their procrastination over each bid and play of a card sends me crazy. Hard as it is for me to ever agree with the Bigot, I fully endorse his views on how to deal with such irritating players : " Do the buggers in ".
However, not being a violent man I went to see my psycho-analyst and close friend, Dr. John, for some therapeutic advice. He suggested that I write a poem to help release all my inner frustration and anger over being made to wait time and time again. And to an extent writing this poem did have a calming effect. So please share my enjoyment over this little masterpiece, entitled " I Need To Get Even ".
My partner's so slow, its no idle boast
When it's his turn to play, I make myself toast
My partner's so slow, I just bury my head
Thinking why am I alive, I'm better off dead
My partner's so slow, he gets filthy looks
But at least I get time to read a few books
My partner's so slow, his brain must be sludge
Can someone out there give him a nudge
My partner's so slow, he grinds to a stop
If I had an axe on me I'd give him the chop
My partner's so slow, I've not heard a peep
I think the poor sod has fallen asleep
My partner's so slow, it makes my life hard
He takes all of a minute to play his last card
My partner's so slow, I can't take no more
I need to get even to settle the score
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